arcane

f o u r t e e n

And it's so hard to stay afloat,
When you make monsters out your thoughts,
And you're chained up now,
And everyone around you,
Is too far away to notice.

Rain was my favourite type of weather. I loved the sound of the rain hitting the floor, the smell of rain water. I absolutely loved it. There was no doubt that from September till January was my favourite time of year. It was currently 9 in the morning, and it was definitely raining. I was just staring outside my window, watching the rain fall.

A few days had passed, Dane telling me to marry him. 3 days have passed, meaning I have 6 days left. And my father did sign a contract. It was near to Christmas as well, and well since dad left, it wasn't a big Christmas no more. I wanted my brother to come home, I wish my sister was alive and I wished my dad was still with us, and didn't sign a contract for me to get married to a mafia don. I hadn't spoken to Dane after that, he knew that this isn't what I wanted. Well it was, just not like this.

I knew eventually, it would go down, I knew that I was going to get married to Dane. But not under these circumstances. I wanted to fall in love with him naturally, I wanted to all come to me normally.

Just, normally.

I hadn't ask my mother yet. And that's what I was going to do now. I was in my pyjamas, my hair in a messy bun.

"Morning mother." I greeted her, sending her a little smile.

"Morning Domenica. Breakfast?" She asked, turning around.

"Please." I sent her a small smile.

"Come up and help me." She asked, I nodded and started getting stuff out that she needed. Eventually we finished and I had now eggs, bread and coffee with some fruit in front of me.

I ate slowly, and it was quiet. It wasn't an awkward silence.

"Mother." I said, in a soft tone.

"Yes?" She said, looking at me.

"Did father sign a contract for me to get married to Dane Donatti when I turn 19?" I asked, sipping my coffee. Her eyes immediately widened, and her head snapped towards me.

"Why?" She said, sharply.

"I have 6 days mother. Get talking." I said, coldly. The demeanour had changed, and the atmosphere had now turned intense. The soft patter of rain helped me relax and calm down.

"He did. How do you know?" She whispered, looking at the floor in guilt.

"He told me. We know each other." I said curtly, not expanding on my point.

"He said it would be for protection from bad people, just like when he left us. I tried so hard, I swear Domenica my darling, I tried so hard to convince him to let you move with your aunt and have a normal life. Have a normal childhood. I tried to convince him to let you make the decision for yourself, when you got older.

But he didn't listen. Of course he didn't. Alonzo Romero didn't listen to anyone." She said bitterly, laughing humourlessly.

"Protection from what mother? All I hear is you need protection, but from what?" I asked, still sipping on my coffee.

"Your father was in the mafia. You know that. He was head, the don. The don's daughter couldn't be harmed in anyway. Your sisters death wasn't an accident. It was a murder. And in all honesty, not because I'm a mother and I carried her for 9 months, I feel she is still around. Honestly I feel it." She said, a tear falling.