✔️ One Night Stand (Changlix)

seven〰️felix

⚠️WARNING: mentions of self-harm⚠️

Changbin promised he wouldn't ever, in his words, "be such an idiot" ever again. I have a hard time believing that he'll keep that promise.  You could say I've given up on him at the least.
I want to forgive him as soon as possible, but I can't just forgive the person who broke my heart that easily. He'll have to make it up to me somehow.
As a way to possibly make me happier, I turned on my playlist on my phone, hoping a happy song would come on. Unfortunately, I was left with BIGBANG's "Loser".
The day that all of my friends had come over had been great and I had felt better for that one single day. Now, I was feeling extremely sad and I couldn't e even do anything about it. I didn't want to bother any of my friends with my stupid self, so I just relied on different tactics to help me feel something other than my constant, never-ending sadness.
I had seen other people do it as a tactic for when they were sad, and so I decided to try it, just so I could feel something else. It worked, for the most part anyhow.
I had scars all across my thighs and some here and there on my stomach. I didn't want people to see them on my wrists, so I avoided doing them there. For now of course, I was running out of space.
I knew I was hurting myself for no good reason, but I was desperate to feel something else so I kept going.
Usually, I would get really depressed every day around the same time because of my stupid thoughts and that's when I would lock myself in my bathroom and not come out for thirty minutes, each time, walking out with new cuts.
You could say it was getting out of hand.
I was running out of places to cut, and my wrists were bare, so I started there after a few days.
About five days after all of my friends came over, there was a knock on the door at the same time that I was in the bathroom.
I didn't know who it was, so I kept going, not standing to answer the door.
Finally, I heard footsteps on my hardwood floors and suddenly, I got a little scared. They had managed to get into my house without me even opening it, so that means I must know them, right? Or maybe it's a burglar?
Thankfully, I was right, it was someone I knew and not a burglar. It was both Chan and Woojin. I heard them calling in the living room and I felt myself relax, get up, and start to clean myself off.
The only problem about going to face them was how I was going to hide my scars. In the end, I just decided to put some paper towels around my new cuts to keep it from staining my oversized sweatshirt, which I was going to put on. I already had sweatpants on, so I didn't need to worry about the scars down on my thighs.
I darted across the room from the bathroom to my bedroom, and grabbed my sweatshirt and put it on just before they walked in and saw me.
"Jeesh, you scared us, man. I thought you weren't home or something," Chan said and pulled me into an embrace which I slightly winced at because he accidentally bumped against my wrists. But I hugged back nonetheless.
"How're you feeling, Felix?" Woojin asked, stepping forward with a bright smile on his face which made me smile a little. He hugged me as well, but a little bit softer than Chan had.
"I'm okay," I whispered gently, trying to keep a smile on my face.
There was a pause, because both of my friends knew I was lying.
"Felix, please don't lie," Woojin whispered softly, shaking his head. "Just by your overall mood, we can tell you're not okay, at all," he added and Chris nodded.
"Yeah, man," Chan agreed and I just looked down at my feet, sliding my hands into my sweatshirt pockets slowly and awkwardly.
"I'll be back," Woojin said gently and I looked up slightly, but didn't say anything.
He was going to the bathroom, I presumed, so I didn't call after him. I sat down on my bed, letting out the heaviest sigh.
"You're right, Chris. I'm not okay," I told him softly and he sat beside me, rubbing my back gently.
"Hey, I'm here for you.. just text me or even call whenever you need someone, okay?"
"That's the issue.. I-I don't wanna be a burden to you. You've got a life and I don't want to annoy you with such petty things as getting over someone who broke my heart," I told him and he seemed a little shocked for a moment before he responded.
"First of all, Lee Felix, you are not a burden. And second of all, I will help you whenever you need help. I don't want to see you going down a wrong path because someone didn't help you feel better. So I'm always here for you to talk to, okay?" He said sternly and I smiled, noticing his almost dad-instincts kick in.
Suddenly, the door burst open and Woojin walked in, holding a small, gray, shiny object.
"Lee Felix, what is this?" he asked me with a small growl and I blinked, looking at it.
I forgot to put my razorblade away when I was finished.

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A/N:
intensity

Stay Cool 😎

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