McHanzo Fluff

That's Cold, Man

Thunk.
Thunk.
"Hanzo."
Thunk.

"Han, you're gonna put a dern hole in your wall if you keep that up."

Hanzo looked up blearily from slamming his forehead into the wall to glare at McCree. He'd been trying to knock himself out and hopefully give himself juuust enough brain damage to forget that his brother walked in after Hanzo said he was naked and Genji now thought that Hanzo and Jesse were-
THUNK.

Hanzo hissed as he touched a hand to his forehead. That one had actually really hurt. McCree huffed and grabbed his arm, dragging him to the bed. Hanzo didn't really protest this, just fell onto the bed with a WHUMF. He grabbed a pillow to put over the back of his head and swore loudly in Japanese. Jesse winced, but otherwise let him have his moment to vent. The curses slowed down to a halt a few minutes later, and he took this as a sign that he should talk. "H-" "So help me, Jesse, I will rip those foolish ears right off your head if you do not give me a minute." Jesse snapped his mouth shut and walked over to his abandoned coffee-liquor. He sipped it slowly, thinking of how to beat handle the situation. On the one hand, Hanzo was definitely overreacting, but honestly, when wasn't he? On the other hand, Genji wasn't exactly the tightest-lipped person on the base. Heck, he was probably second only to Lena in terms of absolute secret-spilling. It was only a matter of time before everyone on the base was asking if they were invited to the wedding. (Jesse was pretty sure Hanzo would actually kill Genji as soon as it happened.) McCree's attention shifted to Hanzo, who he had noticed was being very quiet. This is how the man usually was, except his breathing wasn't usually this... slow.

Jesse scampered back to the bed, ripping his hat off and pressing an ear desperately to Hanzo's chest. Hanzo's heart was beating way slower than any person's could safely beat, and his breathing was shallow. "Oh, Lord, HAN, Darlin', please! Wake up! God, don't just shove me away if yer not feelin' so great, especially if it means YOU'RE DYIN'!" McCree was pretty sure he was crying now, but he was also pretty sure that Hanzo's heart was beating faster, so he didn't really give a shit. Several seconds passed by in silence, save for Hanzo's heartbeat and breathing getting steadily faster. The second the archer's eyes blinked open, Jesse pointed straight at his face, "If you ever scare me like that again, I'll be the one ripping ears off, ya hear?!" Then he hugged Hanzo tighter and sobbed. Hanzo looked down at the cowboy's back confused. "Jesse, while your concern is equal parts sweet and terrifying, I only fell asleep." McCree looked up at Hanzo with the ugliest ugly-crying face possible and shook his head, "Nope, don't even try to pull that with me! People's hearts don't just decide to stop beating when they take a nap." Hanzo's eyes widened. His heart? He really didn't feel like he'd been dying he just felt... really tired. And cold. Now that he thought about it, Jesse's body heat was the only warm thing near him. Which didn't make sense, because he'd been lying on the bed for nearly fifteen minutes, yet it was still as cold as when he'd first lain on it. Hanzo gently pushed Jesse back, shivering in spite of himself at the loss of warmth. "Jesse." The man wiped away most of the tears and cocked his head to the side. "I want you to hold my hand." McCree huffed out a dry laugh, "that's a hell of a way to say sorry, hun." Hanzo glared and held his hand out toward the gunslinger. Jesse sighed and obliged, taking the smaller clawed hand in his own. Hanzo inhaled sharply at how warm it felt, but Jesse frowned. "You could've told me you were cold, didn't have to do it the hard way." Hanzo looked at Jesse worriedly. "Jesse, I am cold." McCree nodded, "see, that's what I mean, ya never tell me anything is wrong until you've already-" he yelpled as Hanzo yanked his hand forward, pressing it to the archer's chest. Jesse huffed, annoyed, but it quickly turned to panic.

Hanzo wasn't emitting any body heat.

Jesse quickly wrapped his arms around Hanzo, the archer letting out a squawk of protest before clambering to get warmer. After getting arranged properly, the two sat it silence for a few seconds. Hanzo licked his lips anxiously, "It appears that becoming a dragon hybrid has made me... slightly cold-blooded." Jesse nodded against Hanzo's head, "Yep, it sucks, but I'm gonna need a minute or two to panic a bit more before I'm ready to talk about it. Hanzo nodded slightly, reaching over to his discarded comforter. It was useless to him now, as body heat was what generally made blankets work, but if he and McCree were both encompassed...

They looked ridiculous, Hanzo decided, not caring at all because he was warm, wrapped up in his entirely too fluffy, warm blanket, with Jesse's stubbly, warm chin poking his head and the cowboy breathing down his back (warm!) Hanzo was pretty sure that it was unfair that he could still blush with none of the added benefits of body heat, but, for the moment, he was too warm to care. He felt significantly calmer now, and if Jesse's breathing was anything to go by, then it was time to talk. "Well," said Jesse, startling Hanzo slightly, "at least this is one problem that we have many ways to fix. Heat pads, electric blankets, hugs, heaters... lots of solutions to this." Hanzo nodded, that was the first good news he'd had today. His slightly lifting mood was ruined however, by his door slamming open to reveal a very frantic cyborg, who didn't seem to notice or care that Jesse wasn't wearing his hat or that his brother was totally being the little spoon while also having weird horns for some reason. (He did care, but not right now, right now it was being catalogued away for when he wasn't in a full-blown panic.)

"Dude," said the now cat-eared ninja, "what the fuck did you do?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

HEEEEEY, I made another chapter and it only took me several months! I'm so sorry, I suck, I'm the worst, I really need to get a consistent update schedule, except that's gonna be really hard because COLLEGE STARTS IN TWO WEEKS AND AAAAAAAAAA-

anyway, enjoy the new chapter! Sorry if it's kinda short. Ciao! Mitzy