Anatomy Of Love (Camren Fanfiction)

Chapter 10

Camila woke up cold and alone. The bedroom was dark, lit only by a sliver of moonlight peeking through the curtains. Camila unstuck her eyelids and peered around motionless. Camila could make out the clock as it clicked over to three-fifteen am. As she groggily turned over in bed she immediately noticed the absence of the warm body that normally curled up beside her. She rolled over in bed, sliding a hand over to the space beside her in reflex to the feeling of cold sheets. Her twin bed was empty, the cover pulled back where Lauren had climbed out. Camila sat up straight, looking around, listening to the dark house for any sound of her moving around.

Everything was silent.

After their kiss, Lauren had been noticeably quiet. She retreated inside her own thoughts and merely said goodnight before she fell asleep beside Camila. Camila wondered if the kiss between had happened too soon. As much as she adored Lauren’s soft lips pressed against her own, she wondered if it had frightened Lauren. Lauren has always been more guarded with her feelings, always putting on a tougher exterior and keeping most people at a distance. What if Lauren now placed Camila in that category? What if their shared moment of pleasure ended up doing more harm than good?

Camila pushed the covers back, determined to find the green-eyed girl. Her heart raced from both jerking out of sleep and from irrational fear that somehow their kiss had scared her away. She wasn’t in the bathroom or in the other bedroom. She wasn’t in the kitchen or the living room either.

The balcony door squeaked open and Camila jumped at the sudden movement. “Lauren?” Her heart tripped in throat as she stood still.

The older one’s head appeared in the balcony doorway with a cigarette that dangled from the corner of her mouth. The curl of gray smoke twirled up from the end of the cigarette as her eyes squinted, but even through the squint, Camila could see mere solemnness come through. Camila knew Lauren must have been in deep thought because that’s the only time her smoking habit surfaced.

Lauren pulled the cigarette out of her mouth with her thumb and forefinger. “What are you doing up, baby? She asked, her voice husky. “You okay?” Lauren’s aloof and brooding presence filled the balcony as she stood back against the wall.

Camila shook her head, her throat suddenly tight. “I woke up and you were gone. I thought you left me.”

“Come here, Camz.” She shoved the door open even further with her foot and held her hand out to the younger one.

Camila trudged across the living room, close to tears, feeling stupid and vulnerable and needy. Lauren wrapped Camila in her arms and lightly kissed the younger ones forehead before she pulled away.

“I couldn’t sleep,” Lauren replied as she blew the smoke out through her nostrils. She looked at Camila with a faintly nervous expression. “I have a lot on my mind right now,” she continued, her fingers trembled as she took another cautious drag. Camila felt an odd tension between them which was unheard of in all their years of friendship.

A dark, troubled cloud settled over Camila’s expression as her gaze met with Lauren’s. “Are you thinking about our kiss?” she questioned, a resigned hurt throbbing in her voice.

Lauren nodded her head in assent. She voiced her next thought before she could censor herself. “I sorta regret the way things happened so quickly,” Lauren said, her voice trailed off. She leaned against the wall, crossed her leg underneath her as she took in another slow drag. “But we’ll be okay,” she continued with a false smile.

That was a lie, Camila thought. Her bullshit radar was ringing like crazy but before she could press any further, Lauren walked toward the balcony railing and stubbed out her cigarette. Camila took a moment to appreciate Lauren’s profile- she was mysterious and exotic- her unruly hair slide forward and hide a part of her face away. Camila stood beside Lauren as she let her hand fall to her side and waited for an accidental brush of their hands. In that moment she craved Lauren’s touch, she wanted to feel Lauren’s sleder hands against her own, the light but firm pressure signaling a new kind of longing, a longing defined by desire rather than friendship. Camila’s whole being felt as though it were concentrated in the fingers of her right hand as it lay counterpart to Lauren’s. Causally, almost indifferently, Camila reached for Lauren’s hand but instantly drew back when Lauren flinched at the contact. What little hope Camila had left of a possible relationship with Lauren was destroyed in that second. Despite the kiss, she realized that they would never more than just a good idea. And that thought alone devastated her.