Yoonmin Oneshots

winter blues

[Not my story]
Ao3 @ springrain21

  Min Yoongi is not having a good day.

  For one thing, he’s just been turned into a fucking cat by a bitter sorceress.

  The sorceress in question is standing over him, hands on her hips and looking awfully pleased with herself. She’s a pretty it young thing with long dark hair and big brown eyes. The exact opposite of Yoongi’s type.

  He’d told her as much when she’d come onto him in the coffee shop where Yoongi was waiting grumpily for his morning caffeine fix. He’d promptly rebuffed her advances, so not in the mood to deal with this shit so early in the day. She’d been visibly offended, stalking back to her table while muttering something under her breath.

 With his steaming hot coffee in hand, Yoongi had exited the shop and cut through the alley next door, a shortcut back to his apartment. Unbeknownst to him, the young woman had followed him into the abandoned alley.

  “Allerio ma shaek ackni anni,” a feminine voice calls out behind him, the words oddly warped and echoey.

  The next thing he knows, there’s a puff of pink smoke and Yoongi is staring up at the woman, who is suddenly the size of a freaking giant. His coffee drops to the ground and explodes all over the pavement, and he jumps to avoid the hot spray.

 Except he doesn’t jump back on two human legs. No, he jumps back on four little legs. Cat legs. Yoongi stares down at himself, sees a fluffy chest and soft little paws. Looks behind him and sees a long, bushy, bottlebrush tail.

  Not only is he a cat. He’s a blue cat. Fucking royal blue, just like how he'd dyed his hair last week. Apparently the young woman has a sense of humor. He stares up at her balefully, not even believing this shit.

  “Are you fucking kidding me?” He asks, but it comes out as a series of raspy meows.

  She still seems to be able to understand him though, and she grins nastily down at him. “That’ll teach you to be so disrespectful,” she crows, reaching down to pet his head patronizingly. Yoongi swipes a clawed paw at her, his hackles raising. It’s a strange sensation. She pulls back, laughing meanly.

  “You’re a fucking witch, I take it?” Yoongi meows, glaring at her. He wonders what color his new cat eyes are.

  She tuts and wags at finger at him. “A sorceress, honey bear. Much more powerful.”

  Yoongi flicks his fluffy tail irritably. It feels so weird. “A sorceress. Of fucking course. They can never take rejection well, the psycho bitches.”

  The sorceress narrows her eyes dangerously at him. “Watch yourself, fur ball. I could turn you into a pile of dust with a snap of my fingers.”

  Yoongi’s ears involuntary flatten against his head. “Do it then, you bitter bitch.” Yoongi really needs to learn when to shut up.

  The sorceress’ lips tighten, and for a second, Yoongi thinks she actually will. Then she shakes herself off and smiles cruelly down at him. “Nah. I think this’ll be more fun.”

  She takes a step back and panic flares in Yoongi's chest. “Where are you going?”

  She glances down at her watch. “I have Pilates in fifteen minutes. See ya around!”

  “Wait!” Yoongi cries, though it just comes out as a loud yowl. “Okay, okay, you've had your fun. Turn me back now.”

  She just laughs humorlessly and shakes her head. “Mmmm, don't feel like it. Have fun, fur ball.” Then she snaps her fingers and disappears in a cloud of pink smoke.