Yoonmin Oneshots

cute cashier & awkward encounter

[Not my story]
Ao3 Grandpa_yoongs

It all started with a bet. A stupid bet, at that. If Yoongi wasn't so dense he would have realised going into it that Namjoon was right.

("Tae and Kook?" Yoongi scoffed, shaking his head. "Nah, that's bullshit. They're just friends."

"Jungkook's basically living at your's and Taehyung's apartment—"

"The Asshole Castle," Yoongi corrected. (Or alternatively, the Dick Palace – or D.A.D.S, AKA, the Dope Ass Dude's Shack™.)

"You know I refuse to call it that."

"Whatever," Yoongi quipped.

"Anyway," Namjoon said, rolling his eyes. "Back to the point. Taekook...it's a thing."

Yoongi squinted his eyes and tilted his head for a second, mulling over the possibility of the two being in a relationship. He made a high pitched whining sound in the back of his throat, seemingly unconvinced.

Namjoon lifted his eyebrows in challenge. "Fine. You wanna bet on it?"

"Sure," he replied, with a dismissive wave of his hand. "Whatever you want, Joonie.")

So here he was. Tasked with the unfair punishment of public humiliation, and all for what? A dumb bet which he shouldn't have even taken part in.

Stopping briefly at the front of the store, Namjoon shoved a piece of paper into Yoongi's palm. Yoongi glanced at it, eyes widening in horror.

"Oh fuck no. There's no way I'm doing th—"

Namjoon oh so helpfully guided (shoved) Yoongi into the convenience store, making him stumble on his way in. Great start, thanks a bunch Namjoon.

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The plan was this: get in, locate the stupid items on Namjoon's list, pay for them without making eye contact, get out. 10/10 solid plan. Seems pretty hard to fuck up. Well, if you're not Min Yoongi, that is.

Upon searching shelf after shelf laden with so called 'beauty' products (more like torture devices, in Yoongi's opinion), he finally found what he was looking for. Adding the pack of razors to his basket, Yoongi moved on to scavenge for his next item.

Since Namjoon's list wasn't exactly clear, the instructions on it being "a penis shaped food," Yoongi opted to go for a cucumber, since it was the biggest vegetable available in the store. He figured if he was going to make a total ass of himself anyway, better at least make it worth his while. Go big or go home, right?

He chose the largest one he could find, chucked in into his basket and continued down the aisles.

When he got to his last item Yoongi sighed. Yep, this is real. I'm really doing this.

Wanting to get it over with as soon as possible, he picked up the cheapest bottle of lube he could find, which just so happened to be glow in the dark and pineapple flavoured (seriously, how is that even a thing?), and stalked over to the cash register, ready to mentally scar the poor innocent college student taking up the graveyard shift.

Looking down as the cashier scanned the couple of items, a thought occurred to Yoongi. Without thinking about it, without taking in the situation he was currently in, Yoongi said something he probably shouldn't have.

"You have really nice hands."

Fuck. Okay, Yoongi's going to blame that one on sleep deprivation. It's almost 2:30 in the morning and he'd pulled an all nighter the night before to work on his compositions – which means he's been up for a total of 38 hours.