"Love is a decision, not just emotion. It is selfless, and a commitment."
Lydia M.
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Carson
The colors have dulled, just like her life. She left London few hours ago. She sat at the back passenger seat of the Land Rover that came to pick her up from the airport. If possible she wanted to just let the drive to continue but it came to a halt.
In front of her is the over-arching contemporary mansion of her family. The kind that will require you to have a map on hand to determine directions. Passing by the familiar places had brought back childhood memories to her. Her mother's favorite lagoon still sprawl with lilies, dazzling with vivid purple color. The water glisten as the sunlight hits it. Yet at the midst of it all, remembering how her mother departed from the land of the living made her reliquish her bitterness towards her father.
'Since the first time I met her, your mother had always loved lilies.' There stood the man himself. He wore a light navy blue polo shirt with rolled sleeves. He wore his usual casual jeans but paired with white rubber shoes. She could tell by his looks that he had just returned from golfing.
'Stop pretending as if you care cause you don't' she spat every word with sheer hate. She just can't stomached the irony of her father talking about the deceased wife he neglected.
'Your mother will always have a place in my heart.' she stopped dead on her tracks as she thrived to move away from him. She laughed sarcastically.
'Place in your heart? She used to be the only one there' her hands turned into a tightball of fist as she felt once again so alone. For her, its as if yesterday that she's in the hospital and would put up a happy face as she talks to her mom even though deep inside she wanted to cry especially everytime she see's her in pain whenever doctors and nurses would come inject her with vials because her body is already too weak to take medicines.
'Why? Why did you remarried? Why did you forget her easily?' she poured out all the pent up emotions within her.
'Carson' He did not answer her. She tried to hold her ground as her father guiltily looked at her with tears misting her eyes.
'Can't you see? I just wanted to understand. Is that so much to ask?' Whether she admits it or not, Carson can't deny the fact that she hated the world because she wasn't able to move on from the past. The lunge of pain she had been carrying all along was caused by her father who wasn't there when she and her mon needed him the most is in every aspect holding her back.Hence the reason why she had been afraid of trusting her heart until Asher came along. The man who now owns her heart.
'I understand that you despise me and its my fault. You can choose to read this or throw it away.' He handed her a letter before leaving her alone. Carson went to her room. She hugged her knees by her window while gazing the sky until she fell asleep.
The cold damp of air from the window had woke her up. From it, she could tell its already night yet she can't get herself to open her eyes. She remained crouched by the window pane until she felt a drape of blanket put over her. Knowing its her father, she pretended to sleep. He held her cheeks the way he does when he still used to tuck her to sleep as a child. Back then, her mother also would sing her lullabies. It was one of the happiest moments of her childhood.
'I am sorry Carson I wasn't there for you' he heard him say as he left once again. As soon as she heard the door closed, she sat up. He just said the words she had been wanting to hear for a long time yet she still can't get herself to forgive him.
Carson's attention bat on the letter she had placed on her bedside table. The intricate design of the envelope and its fragrance similar to lillies is enough for her to know who wrote it. Slowly, she opened the lid.
To my daughter Carson
How are you? I hope you are doing fine. If you are reading this then perhaps your father had already figured out that its the right time.
As for me, I may not be around anymore but know that I'll always be by your side, watching over you. I have no doubt that you will become a very strong and succesful lady in your chosen career.
While I wish you well, I also wish that you would find true love just like I did with your father.He is such a gentle and kind husband and father to you that I couldn't ask for more. That is why, he deserves to be happy. It was my wish for him to remarry again so both of you have a chance to be happy with a complete family.
At times, you will face challenges that will push you to the limits. Know that its okay to cry, fall. The most important thing is for you to never give up. Only you can choose the path you wanted to take. And only you can choose to be happy.
I love you always and forever.
Mom
The letter slipped of Carson's hand. She had hated her father so much that she blamed him for everything when in truth she had misunderstood him. She had created her own demons and in the process she has become an inconsiderate selfish person. One that is completely the opposite of her mother whom she treasures dearly.
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The next day....
For hours, Carson stood outside her father's study. She didn't know how to face him after all the things she did to humiliate his father and their family. With all the scandals and uproars she was involved in, not to mention the hurtful things she said to him, she's afraid that sorry won't be enough.
After a long mental debate, she ended up not being courageous enough to even knock. Turning her back, the door opened.
'Carson?' his father asked worriedly. Sighing deeply as if her life depended on it, she faced him.
'Father, I already know. I read her letter' she glowered. She waited for her father's rant or at worse for him to slap her but it never came. Instead he hugged her.
'I'm so sorry. I love your mother so much that when she asked me her last wish, even if it killed me inside, I couldn't say no. Cause afterall the only thing I could do for her is to at least make her feel at peace.' He cooed her as she cry shaking her head in negation.
'Its me who is wrong. I'm sorry father for everything' this time his father shed tears. He smiled at her like the way she remembers back then. There was a feeling of joy in it. A silent affirmation between a father and daughter who had both accepted forgiveness.
'Welcome home Carson' her father greeted her whilst making her nod. Within her, she silently wishes to have a similar kind of love her parents have. And if fate permits, she wanted to meet Asher again in the future. She hopes that when such happened, she can be someone equal to stand to where he is, someone who he can be proud of.
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Author's Note :
Please be patient with me. I know I had taken too long in updating and I'm very grateful for all the support. While Asher isn't in this chapter, only Carson, I believe this is a crucial part to add. Thank you so much.
Hugs n' Kisses
Marie
YOU ARE READING
The CEO's Bad Girl (Watty's 2018)
Romantik'It seems you don't get it. Ms. Jones, let me rephrase it.' Asher said. Carson look at him as if he had already lost his mind. Asher then stood up. He placed both of his hands on Carson's chair, trapping her. He leaned over her ear with her back fac...
