m i d g e t

16; every kiss begins with why

" why did you kiss me ?" he finally says, the car ride was silent after we got in, alexander only looked at his hands.

" i needed to get you somewhere other than nowhere ." he turns his head towards me.

" wow okay ." he coldly responds.

" why did you kiss back ?" that question had been lingering in my head. at first my intentions were to actually stop him from running off into oblivion, then once he kissed back, it was more or less expressing my feelings for him.

" because i didn't want to be rude ." he shrugs the question off, like it's no big deal.

" are you sure 'bout that ?" i take a turn onto a bumpy road, which leads to our destination. i think it'll help.

" no, but im not sure what's happening at all ." he glanced back towards his seat, probably confused as hell to where we're going.

" why did maria wink at you ?" i stay frozen for a second thinking about maria's assault, im glad it wasn't peggy.

" oh look we're here ." i tried to act like i didn't care, even though it stressed me the fuck out.

" why are we at a cliff ?" he mutters to himself, it was probably weird at first glance. i usher him over to the railing that was built at the edge of it.

" i come here, usually near sunset, just to let out my stress or whatever may be on my mind. i just scream at the top of my lungs ." i look out over the edge, feeling a gentle breeze brush my cheeks. it was mid day but slightly dark because of the storm rolling in.

" you just . . . yell ?" he leans on the railing while looking out aswell.

" i'll do an example ." i took a deep breath, let it out, then yelled. it was like pushing out everything that happened in the last few days. i looked back at him, satisfied.

" try it ."

" how ?"

" think of what's bothering you, then just let it out ." i lean against one side of the rail, this way i was facing the opposite way from the cliff. i see his knuckles were turning white from clinging to the bars too hard. then he screams at the top of his lungs, worse than when he got shot or the day in the bathroom. he screams for a solid five seconds, his voice getting hoarse. i see his knuckles are still clearly white, so there's still something else.

" go ahead and try it one more time ." he waits a second or two, but eventually, he's screaming again, i can't see his face because his hair is covering it, but i can guess it's probably red.

" better ?"

" i feel worse ." he looks down, making me look down, so i back up. i don't like heights all that well, so i try to not look down when im here.

" mentally, do you feel better ?" he looks back at me in confusion, realizing i've moved away.

" i guess ." he starts walking back to the truck, i go ahead too.

" are you going to find them with me or not ?" he stops at the hood of the car, i lift an eyebrow, surprised.

" you're still stuck on that ?" he rolls his eyes and jumps in.

" why wouldn't i be ?" he says after i get in.

" i dunno, maybe i have special kissing powers that made you forget about irrational decisions ." i pull out the truck from beneath the trees and start down the bumpy road.

i definitely need to repair my shock springs.

" don't be full of yourself ." he scoffs, looking out the window.