" are you okay ?" i had tried comforting him with a simple hand touch, but ultimately got rejected. i'm sure he thought i was weird. it was instinct. now that we're in the truck, it seems he's in a daze. whatever his wife said definitely hit a weak spot.
" do i look okay? is anyone, ever, okay, jefferson? why would you ask that just so you can get a fake response? to make, you, feel better ?" i guess he isn't okay then.
" i get that your stressed, but that gives you no right to take it out on me ." i start the truck entering in the location peggy had said that one day.
" look ," he claps his hands together, then straightens it out to make a pointing direction," i don't want you to think we can actually be friends, because we probably never will be. so stop pretending to be nice to me, stop pitying my fucked up life, stop pretending like this is all some babysitting, day with the therapist, job. ok tho- t- jefferson ?" i couldn't help but notice the last part. i could let that go. or i couldn't.
" did you almost say my first name ?" he doesn't respond, so i glance over, looking out the window as always.
" okay, you want me to be real with you ?"
" i don't know, did my long ass speech forget to mention that ?" he brushes his hair back, still looking at the window. then an idea pops into my head.
" i have a song you can relate to ." he sarcastically cheers as i plug in the aux to my phone.
" i've learned to slam on the breaks, before i even turn the key, before i make the mistake, before i lead with the worst of me. give them no reason to stare. no slipping up if you slip away. so i've got nothing to share, no i've got nothing to say." he turns to me, somewhere along the lines of ' how will this help ?' and ' how can i relate ?' sits on his face.
" this is what you -"
" shush, listen ." i say as the chorus starts, he sits back with a huff. and he wonders why i treat him like a kid. it's only sometimes, to be fair.
" step out step outta the sun if you keep getting burned. step out step outta the sun because you've learned, because you've learned. on the outside always looking in, will i ever be more than i've always been, 'cuz i'm tap, tap, tapping on the glass. waving through a window, oh, i try to speak but nobody can hear, so i wait around for an answer to appear. 'cuz im tap, tap, tapping on the glass, waving through a window. can anybody see, is anybody waving back at me ?" i turn it down, what i wanted him to hear is over with.
" sounds like some millennial that's afraid he doesn't fit in, hashtag millennial problems ." he mocks, i only roll my eyes.
" not at all, and we're millennials anyways ," i look at him suspiciously," unless you're secretly thirty-five and i don't know it ."
" no, i'm 21 you dick ."
" oh, well in that case, i'm older ." he turns his head again.
" what is this, a competition ?"
" since you said i'm pretending to be your friend, which i'm not, i'll act the way i was before ." i see him lift an eyebrow before turning back around to the window.
" but the first verse, it sounds alot like what you're doing, you're shutting down ." he dryly chuckles as i say that.
" i'm sorry for not telling you my feelings, im too busy thinking about them to even hypothesize what's going on ." he sharply replies. i tilt my head in consideration, that's pretty true i can't argue.
" you're still bullshitting though ." i sit back in my seat as i stop the car, traffic as always. i look at him, he looks back at me. then he turns away. a common thing that's been happening.
" you want me to be real ?" he doesn't respond and i nod.
" i had two parents that weren't there, i grew fucked up. be there for your fucking son dude, he deserves you. he'll hold a fucking grudge for sure, along with your wife, ex wife, whatever you wanna call her. support her, she gave birth to a fucking child, do you know how much that hurts? ten times worse than your little gunshot wound. imagine someone shooting you in the balls, but your balls are a uterus with a baby's head coming out. be there for her, if not romantically, in a friendly way. your the father of your child, and you just dashed. oh, and don't fucking push me away when im actually trying, you need to try to for once in your fucking life, because i like you for once, and yeah it's weird, i get that, but that gives you no right to re -" i stop myself. i may have just confessed my feelings, i fucked up. i continue looking forward, my face heating up by the millisecond.
" -state the names you've called me. because, quite frankly, those hurt ." i lie. he can call me anything he wants and i would say ' thank you '. i seriously need to get my feelings under control.
" thank you ." he softly says.
" what ?"
" thank you thomas, you're probably the only person who hasn't gave up on me yet. . . shit, i've given up on myself, i don't know how you don't ." he wipes his face.
is he crying? fuck me.
" are you -"
" tell anyone and i will end you ." he goes back to his original tone.
" got it ." i smirk, i see him give a smile aswell, probably thinking i didn't notice.
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Fanfiction[ c o m p l e t e d ] an agent au (heh alliteration) shit go down but then jamilton comes up john isn't dead btw #johnprotectionsquad mullete is a thing they have a child angie is michael phelping into tea but like she be a spy lizard was once with...
