Take Me Home

Helpless Life

  I finally was getting closer to the cabin, as I walked along the gravel and loose rocky road. There was only one road that led to the cabin, and I was approaching it now.

I kicked up some rocks as I walked upon the road, but with those rocks I also kicked up some dust and as the wind blew towards me, it got all in my eyes. I tried to blink it away, as I ran my fingers through my course, blonde hair that waved back and away from my face. My hair had become very voluminous throughout the years, almost like Liam's, but less.

As I got older, my natural hair colour never really came back. After Martins dyed my hair right when I was taken to the cabin, my roots never came back as the light brown colour it once was. My hair only changed to a darker colour than the light blonde that he dyed it at first, and transformed to a golden blonde. More like wheat.

As my hair grew back as well, some of the wave came back, but not as much as it was before. Now it was mostly straight. And it wasn't as long as it was before either, I kept in shorter now. Or somewhat. I usually parted my hair more to the side, letting my longer bangs sweep over my forehead, which was rather pale, like the rest of my skin.

Sometimes, my hair would do this weird thing where it didn't fall on my forehead, but it would be brushed away from my face and my hair would fall more into the style of a short flow, like today, but I was not a fan of that look. But I didn't worry about it too much. It was only hair.

I would say I had grown into my features more as I aged, and more of that developed once I hit puberty. I had grown a lot more as well, spiking up much taller than I used to be. I think I measured myself once before with a tape measure I had found in the cabin, and then I was almost six feet tall. I wasn't too sure as to how tall I was now, I might still be that same height. But I was tall and very lean. Slim. I used to be a toothpick, but since I had been playing sports, I had noticed I had bulked up more, but not very much. I guess being lean ran in the family. I remember how lean my dad was. He was never overly muscular, but you could tell he was a bit bulky. I felt like I looked a bit like him now. But I wasn't too sure. I had sort of forgotten what he looked like, but his fuzzy face still came to mind. At least somewhat. And I felt rather bad that I had forgotten what my parents once looked like, that guilt all coming to me at once.

  The cabin now came into sight as the trees around me started to clear up, and the open field was in front. The tall grass covered the small field as more trees surrounded the borders. If nobody knew what had happened inside that cabin, it could look like a small cottage where a family could live, with it surrounded by flowers and tall grass and trees. But I knew it too well by now. I knew too much about the horror that happened inside. I knew all too well. And every time I looked at that very cabin, the memories and pictures filled my head. And I could never see that cabin in another way.

  His dark green car was parked along side the cottage, indicating he was home now. Far from work. He had changed cars soon after he took me, changing from the dark blue to a green, as the model was different as well. He had that car for these eight years now, as he had been talking about getting a new one soon, however I wasn't too sure when, or why. I also wasn't too sure as to why he had changed it, but I didn't care much. It didn't effect me.

As I held on tightly to my backpack strap, I took a deep breath before walking towards the cabin in the field. It looked more like a ranch than anything. With the gates and lawn chairs sitting in the front. I shuffled through the grass that came up to my shins as my light backpack stayed tight.

I had lit another smoke since the one I lit at Connor's, mostly because whenever I was around Martins, my nerves had spiked high. Real high. And the only way I could control them it seemed was with a smoke. It hung out of my mouth as I let it for a bit, until I inhaled it again and then exhaled. It felt good. And I felt more at ease and calm.