innocence. || Vkook

IX

Suddenly all the blood that's been circulating through his legs went to his brain. The girl's words hit the boy's head like three double shots of vodka.

The boy tried not to show shocked expression on his face, but Jiwoo's suggestion almost got him fainted.

Small drops of sweat started forming on the edge between his hair and forehead. His legs got numb and his lips got a dark muddy blue shade.

"Tae, are you ok?" - With a hand on Taehyung's neck, Jiwoo asked quietly curving her head to the side a bit.

"U- um... I..." - Taehyung's brain didn't manage to make a proper sentence.

It's not that he was just too shocked to say anything, he didn't even know what he would say. He wasn't sure whether he wanted to sleep with Jiwoo or not. He wasn't sure whether he was ready to have sex at all.

"Um...," Jiwoo nodded one time and looked at the ground, biting her lips "I understand you're nervous. You don't need to feel that way."

The girl caressed Taehyung's cheek and pulled the boy closer.

Taehyung was so nervous it seemed as if he could faint at any moment. His goldish skin color lost its shade and his big oval eyes got a half moon shape.

Jiwoo kissed the boy few times on his cheek and grabbed him by his collar. Then she grabbed the boy's hand and slowly lead them to his room.

Still not letting the boy out of her embrace, she opened the door with her left hand with her back facing the door.

Taehyung wasn't thinking at that moment because it was something he's never experienced before and his brain just didn't know how to handle with the sudden situation.

Jiwoo opened the door and pushed the boy onto his bed. He was lying with his back facing the sheets and his head facing the ceiling. Somehow he couldn't manage to look at his girlfriend's eyes.

Jiwoo then climbed above him and looked straight into his eyes. Taehyung's sight was blurry and he felt like his body temperature doubled.

"I've been dreaming of this moment for a while and it finally happening." - Jiwoo licked her upper lip and put her hand on the boy's chest.

Afterwards she started kissing him, lowering her hand towards the boy's zipper.

When her hand reached for the boy's boxers, Taehyung couldn't take it any longed and pushed her.

"I can't!" - Taehyung shouted raising his body into a sitting position.

He wasn't conscious how hard he pushed his girlfriend that fell on her butt.

"I... I can't." - Taehyung was looking at his lap. His bangs fell over his face, so the tears that were forming in the corner of his eyes weren't to be seen.

Jiwoo was sitting on her butt in shock with her mouth wide opened.

"B- but..."

"Leave me alone.. Just leave me alone now, would you?" - Taehyung said breathlessly as if he just ran a marathon.

Jiwoo's cheeks turned red for multiple reasons. She wanted to sleep with her boyfriend but he pushed her away and said he couldn't do it.

Jiwoo was no less speechless than her over the top nervous boyfriend. She was left there, sitting on the ground without any explanation.

It seemed like she tried to rape or sexually molest him, which of course wasn't her intention.

The two were sitting wordlessly for the next fifteen seconds until Jiwoo stood up and ran out of the boy's room.

Taehyung was only able to hear a large slam of the entrance door when his girlfriend ran out of his apartment shocked.

Several tears slowly rolled down the boy's cheeks. He grabbed his head, trying to comprehend what just happened.

No matter how hard he tried to think of the logical explanation for his behavior, his brain cells seem to shut down, leading his mind completely empty.

The only sound that could've been heard at that moment was  bird's spring song and the sound of wind passing through branches.

Few moments later and those sounds vanished as well. At least for Taehyung's eardrums.

When the tears stopped forming, Taehyung calmly stood up from his bed and took one cigarette from the pack. He lighted it up and sat next to the window.

That was the only place in his room, actually in the whole world where he could be completely lost in his thoughts, where he shouldn't have to justify himself to others.

Cigarettes, his window, the birds that fly freely, the wind that carries so many memories... Those were the things that always accompanied him whenever he would have to deal with everything bad that life has to offer.

What is wrong with me?... Why, Taehyung, why... Just... Tell me why did you push her?... You like her, right? She likes you, too... Maybe even more... Why... - Questions with no answer started overflowing his mind.

He wanted to know what kind of force blocks him from getting intimate with girls. He had a lay-back attitude, he had so many girlfriends. But he had never slept with any.

Am I... - Just when he was about to finish his thought, the phone started ringing.

"FUCK YOU! F-U-C-K Y-O-U!" - Taehyung shouted from the bottom of his lungs wanting to smash the phone on the wall, but still picked it up instead.

"Yeah, Mr. Gong." - Taehyung tried to sound as calmest as he could.

"Yeah?," Mr. Gong asked surprised and clearly offended "Listen kid, I'm not 18 years old, nor I'm your younger brother, so mind your limited adolescent language, you understand?"

Taehyung head was heated as boiling water. He was a millimetre close to swearing and freaking out, but he knew this job meant too for his mother and him, so he had to stop himself.

He bit his lower lip and slapped his cheeks a few times to cool his head a bit.
"I'm sorry, Mr. Gong, it slipped out of my mouth. As you said, you know us adolescents, we can act and say very impolite and strange things from time to time... We can also refuse the most beautiful girl in town because, as I said, we can be very strange and also stupid."

Mr. Gong was lost at the boy's weird vocabulary. He didn't know what he'd say to the boy so he decided just to remind him of the crowd that'll come to the show that night.

"Whatever. Come one hour earlier, we're gonna have a crazy night again, a few very rich CEOs sill come tonight, the boys will perform in new costumes. It's gonna be crazy, so I'm expecting a great professionalism from you and Hyungwon." - Mr. Gong sounded very strict.

"No problem, sir!," Taehyung rolled his eyes and pressed the red button on his phone. "That old creeper."

Taehyung made a comment out loud and lighted up another cigarette.