All The Letters To Niall Horan

Letter Ten

Dear Niall,

      It's been six months. I haven't written to you---in all six months. Probably because I've been cooped up in this little room. I know where I am, it's a rehab center. The new shrink I have, her name is Emma, says I can't write to you anymore. " It's unhealthy. Not natural." she says.There's nothing unnatural about this, she doesn't know what she's talking about.

    The lads and I don't keep in contact anymore, after the incident with Louis, it seems like they just decided to dump me here. There's a two way mirror in my room, on another note. The doctors want to make sure I don't go completely crazy and attempt to kill myself again. They think I don't know but it's obvious. Are you having fun in Irish heaven? Haha, remember how you'd say if there wasn't Nandos up there, you'd refuse to leave Earth behind? I still remember.

     I watched the news today for the first time in months, One Direction is still One Direction without you, but without your voice the songs aren't the same. Turns out the world got over your death pretty quickly. Honestly, it feels like a fucking eternity without you, lately I've been caving in to everyone's demands. It's easier to just swallow the pills and say I'm getting better.

     No, give it a little time.It'll be fine right Niall? I just need a little more time, that's all I need.

                                 - Mitch xx.

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      As I put the pencil down,a nurse came bustling in. " Miss, it's time for you to go to therapy." I think her name is Samantha, she has the most wonderful smile.  Two or three other nurses bustled in, before they could speak to me again, I shoved the letter in my robe. \

      Samantha lowered me in the wheelchair, I mean there's nothing wrong with my legs. Maybe it's just they think I'm too weak to walk. I waved my hand in an unpleasant manner, " I'm walking today." I murmured low enough for her to hear. Her eyes practically bulged out of her head. It was her first time hearing my voice after all." UHHHH--YEAH! OK." Her nervous flighty voice chirps.

    I laugh a bit, letting the sound echo around the room. Some heads turn to look at me as Samantha walks me down the hall. Well, I don't come out of my room much or even associate with people other than the nurses and my shrink. As we near the end of the hall to Emmas' room. Samantha takes one look at me," It's uhh my last day here. " She flashes me a trying smile. I nod, I wish I could've returned that smile but I just squeeze her hand and walk in.

   Emma is already lounging lazily in her leather chair when I get in. " Aww, The princess decides to arrive now." I give her a dirty look, " Not a princess Em." I say sitting against the wall even though she's offering me a seat. She walks over to me, " Anything you want to talk about today? or do you want me to break out the ice cream?" She jokes, nudging my side.

  For the first time in months I say, " Can I use your laptop?" I look up expectantly and give her my best pout. She sighs...." I'm not allowed to but..alright."  She walks over to her desk and unlocks a drawer. I walk over to it and unclasped the laptop.

      " I'm going on twitter and some stuff ok?" I eye her in the corner rummaging through some food in her bottomless bag. " Ok, just don't do anything social suicidal." I roll my eyes at that, I mean she's a good shrink and all but----seriously suicide jokes? Too early for that.

    I type in my password and username with some speed. I closed my eyes a little scared of what I'd see on twitter. But there were just tons of mentions of Niall and I, ' poor baby. You didn't deserve Niall BITCH. " I don't know what compelled me to do this but I replied back, " In the words of my great love, " YA SHOWER OF CUNTS! " Scrolling down the feed a bit, I saw a twitcam for the boys,immediately I clicked it.