All The Letters To Niall Horan

Letter Eight ( + Louis POV )

Niall,

    I'm going out of my mind. Niall? Niall? Niall? Where are you? The doctor told me when he felt my stomach he went a pulse in there, maybe a movement and that's what lead him to believe I had.....a thing growing inside me. It's Louis's ...it has to be, he's the only person I've had sex with since you died. I'm so sorry Niall, we used to talk all the time about having a family of our own and having a bunch of kids. But you're probably decomposing in your grave as I write this and here I am, lugging around Lou's baby.

      I don't know what to do, help me. I haven't told anyone but my mom. She's angry. She wouldn't even look me in the eyes when I told her, she kicked me out of her house and told me that I made my decisions and that I had to deal with them myself. I literally don't know how to handle this, but on another hand, the media thinks I've committed suicide. Haven't been seen in months and a sudden disappearance. I stopped seeing my psychiatrist, not that it matters, he said he'd alert the boys if I didn't come anymore and what are they going to do? Scold at me like a child? 

    Hey Niall, I'm sorry. I can tell you're disappointed in me. I mean what kind of girlfriend am I? One that sleeps around the moment you died. I'm a freaking cunt. Disgusting. Filthy. I didn't deserve someone like you.  The baby-----I resent it so much Niall. I want it out.I don't want IT.

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       I laid in bed, resting a hand against my growing tummy. I had put out an odd shape, it was sort of an oval. It was hard to move at all now, considering. I hated this. A baby. At the age of 20, no. I'm not ready....I WAS NEVER READY.

          I took out my phone, and texted Louis. Not like he'd ever answer anymore. All over the news were Eleanor and him making tongue swirls are each other. The tour was doing successful either way.

  " Lou---I need to talk to you. please. it's urgent." I waited with my phone clasped in my hands---20.30.40.minutes went by. He obviously didn't want anything to do with me. I called my doctor next.

  Several rings and a ding. " Hello, Unplanned Parenthood, Doctor speaking. " I breathed nervously unsure about what I wanted to do. " Hi....remember me? Mitch? the one you checked out about a week ago for fetus development? " I heard a breath, and then some papers shuffling. " Yes, I do. The new single mother correct?"  I teared up in one eye----single mother...just like MY mom. " Yeah, I was going to ask about .....an abortion plan? "

At this point I'm sobbing, " I'm not ready sir----I can't be a mom. I'm too messed up."  Over the phone I can hear him practically stunned, " Well, I'm so sorry Ms.Mitch, you're too far along to get one. But at the looks of it, you'd have a beautiful little boy. " I chucked the phone at the wall,  " WHY?!" I screamed at no one in particular. " NIALL WHY'D YOU LEAVE ME LIKE THIS?!" I rolled up on the floor, writhing in my own self pity.

  ( A/N : WHOA, EMOTIONAL . note : that doctor isn't the same one that told her she was preggers, this is a baby doctor*?*  HERE'S LOU'S POV  ENJOY )

   Louis POV :

        I had my arm around Eleanor, we were in a middle of a photo shoot. All of us, sporting : NIALL LIVES ON.  tee shirts. " Ok, smile big now!" the overly happy photographer said looking into the camera, Eleanor put her hand tighter around my waist, " I love you Lou." she says, a twinkle in her eyes. I look at her, her eyes expectant. I thought getting back together with her was a good idea.

   " Love you too Ele." I say blatantly hoping she doesn't notice the disdain in my voice.They snap a couple pictures and we're all back in the dressing room. I take off my shirt, feeling tired. How long has it been since we've last seen her? By her....I meant Mitch. The boys and I have all agreed to just block her out of our lives for the moment, not picking up calls, not checking on her, not texting. We've all been suffering a good amount. It's been about .....a month since we've last seen her? I don't know, I've lost count somewhere along the way.

   Harry sat down next to me and sighed, " We have a signing in a couple minutes. Think you're up for it?"  I touched my forehead with his, "Of course....Larry." He laughed.causing all the lads to laugh.  Eleanor poked her head in the room, " What's so funny in here ? "  We stopped, and cleared our throats. " Nothing, " Liam said standing up, " Something about a Larry moment."  She stuck her tongue out at him, " Lou~ I want to go home. " She whined playfully. Suddenly my phone vibrated, I reached in.

   Harry and Zayn peered over my shoulders, " I gotta talk to you." I fought back the intense urge to reply back to Mitch. It was eating away at me, it was like I was an empty shell, " You best not reply mate." Zayn said sauntering away to the nearest mirror to look at his hair. Harry looked at me with pity in his eyes, " Don't. " 

     About eight tiring hours later, we were finally all settled down at 'home', more like a our tour-bus. Eleanor clenched tightly around my arm, " Someone's feeling a bit clingy, " I joked laughing. I felt bad deep inside, she didn't know I was using her to try to get over Mitch. God, I'm a terrible person.

  My phone buzzed again, Mitch again, I sighed eyeing the message warily , " Lou PLEASE! we really do need to talk! "  I threw my phone on the other empty bunk, " Now lets get down to business Eleanor." I said carrying her bridal style and throwing her on the bunk.

----------------------------------------------THE NEXT MORNING--------------------------------------------------

 I woke up in my boxers, Eleanor was laying on my arm. My phone on the other bunk had buzzed all night long. Why was Mitch so persistent on getting a reply out of me? She already broke my heart once, did she come back for redemption? Harry poked his head through to my bunk, " BOOBEAR! SHUT THE PHONE OFF OR I'M THROWING IT OUT THE WINDOW!"  I slid off the bunk and picked up the phone------I looked at it, thrity voice mails, twenty text, and over fourty missed calls. But.

     It wasn't from Mitch. It was from my mom and her mom. Oh. my. HAZZAS.

   My phone buzzed again, this time I actually picked up. " Louis William Tomlinson! "   A voice screamed making me cringe.  " WHAT WERE YOU DOING ALL THIS TIME?! WE'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU ALL NIGHT!"  My mom screamed into the reciever, in the background I heard sobbing.  I rolled my eyes a bit, " What happened now mum?"  She huffed angrily and her voice cracked a bit, " Mitch....somethings wrong. you need to get here now." My eyes grew large. Those text messages. No....she didn't. she did not. I dropped the phone and ran out of the tourbus with Liam and Zayn chasing after me.