midnight stuff

0.2

i am actually phisically drained. this year has taken a toll on me. this goes to the boy i can't stop thinking about, and to myself. because i know i won't keep you close much longer.

i quit

i quit my bad habits
even before they become habits

i no longer smoke
i no longer drink
and i no longer flirt with the pretty ones

i quit my bad habits
because i'm scared of getting used to them

i quit all my lessons
because i am so so tired

i no longer dance nor sing
and the piano is giving up on me

i quit all my lessons
because i am not good enough to take them

i quit making peace
because it makes me angry inside

i do not try to make amends
it takes too much energy and leaves me drained

i quit making peace
because it is not worth it in the end

i try to quit trying
trying so hard

i never cared about my social media
and i disregarded my accounts

why do i know care
care so much

i've tried to quit
a fair amount of things

i have succeded in some
though i have work to do still

at the end of the day
in my veins runs the blood to celebrate

celebrate having quit alcohol
or another vice

but i can't help but wonder
once i finally quit you

will i be able to celebrate?
or will i just cry?