Union of the Night(Sequel to Walking the Shadows)

Ch41: A Trip

Starlight's pov

We arrived back at the guild as I walked next to Rogue. I felt bad for him breaking his arm since I was the reason he got so mad to the point where he got possessed.

"What's wrong?" Rogue asked, looking at me. "Nothing. I just feel kinda stupid for getting so worked up over the whole pregnancy thing when you all were alright with it in the first place" I explained, rubbing the back of my head and laughing slightly.

Rogue placed his good arm over my shoulders and smiled at me. "I'm just glad you and our child are safe" Rogue told me, smiling as I gave him a smile back.

We arrived back at the guild Hall as everyone was crowding around the bar. "What the hell is going on?" Gajeel asked, raising a stuffed eyebrow. We all shrugged and walked over.

"Since the last few months have been quite stressful and....... Surprising. We have decided to take a trip to a beach for 3 weeks" Makarov cheered, looking at me when he said surprising. I could figure out why. He was probably referring to the fact that I went and got my self reserected.

Everyone in the guild cheered at the thought of going to a beach. I wasn't too happy on the idea. I didn't want to end up showing off all the scars I have or getting morning sickness in front of everyone in the guild.

Gramps dismissed everyone as they all headed to their homes to pack stuff. "Guess we'll be going to pack as well" Gajeel grumbled. "We're going to be travelling by train you know" I pointed out.

All three dragon slayers instantly had faces of regret. "Yeah. Thought so" I mumbled and walked to the door of the guild, heading home. I got their before Gajeel and Rogue and started packing things into my bag.

I didn't get any swimsuits because I was not planning on swimming when I could throw up at any moment. Rogue came in and saw this. "Not planning on swimming?" he asked.

"Nope" I replied, putting some books in the suitcase. "You?" I asked. "Don't think any doctor's would be happy for someone with a broken arm to be swimming" he replied.

"Did you see Wendy about it?" I asked. "Yeah. She said something was blocking her from healing it which is a shame because having a broken arm is a pain" Rogue explained.

"I know. I've had one before. Along with a lot of other injuries" I replied. "There seems to be a point to what your saying so what is it?" Rogue asked.

I sighed. "I'm not fit to be a mother. I've killed people and haven't attoned for my sins yet" I replied. "You didn't choose to kill those people" I pointed out. "Doesn't make a difference in a court of law. Their blood is on my hands. How can I be a good mother if I can't even stop myself from killing others when I'm angry or upset. I might kill the child if it makes me mad" I explained.

Rogue kneeled down and gave me a one armed hug. "You won't kill the child. I know you won't. Just trust me" he told me.

I sighed. "Fine. I trust you but that doesn't mean I trust myself" I replied, looking down. Rogue pulled a piece of my hair and put it behind my ear, his lips making a frown.

I pulled the hair back to cover up the mess that was my ears. "Why are you hiding it?" he asked. "Because it just makes me look worse then I am" I replied.

He moved my hair again and ran his fingers over my torn ear. "It isn't that bad" he pointed out. "I did it to myself. I was stuck in a canyon, having had my sight taken by a wild wold which caused these scars over my eyes and Reflection wouldn't shut up so I clawed my ears. I could still hear her though" I replied, looking away.

"How was it fixed?" Rogue asked. "Porlyusica had to send Phoenix on a long trip to find a herb that only grows in a certain area to heal both my sight and hearing" I replied.

Rogue pulled my head up and planted a kiss on my forehead. "Don't think your scars make you look horrible. They don't. They make you who you are" he told me.

"Your scar doesn't ruin your face. It looks like it was supposed to be their. Practically every inch of my body has some sort of scar. Most of them aren't even from fights. Their mostly from my self harming or when I was bullied" I explained.

Rogue placed his finger in front of my lip to have me stop talking. "That's in the past. They aren't horrible things, they may seem like bleak reminders of horrible times but they aren't. They're proof that you've surrived. Time after time, you've lived on even if things seemed hopeless. You kept going. That's something a child can look up to and be proud of" he told me.

"Do you really belive that?" I asked. "If I didn't then I wouldn't have said it" he told me. I didn't say anything, just lay my head on his chest. "Why don't you get some rest. You seem to be finished packing and you need the rest to both heal yourself and to not hurt yourself or the baby" Rogue told me. He picked me up and lay me down on the bed. "I'll wake you up when it's time to go and if you seem too tired, I'll just carry you to the station" he told me.

I nodded and closed my eyes, falling into the darkness of sleep.