Back to me

Self doubt

Flaca was being pushed by maritza so quickly that, if she wasn't so much taller than her, her arm would be hurting by now. She was not looking forward to meet maritza's new friend, not even a little bit. At this point, every little thing that threatened her chances with maritza was a major problem. Her humor had gone from radiant to grumpy in a short amount of time, and it got worse every second. When they finally got to the place where Soso was supposed to be in, maritza got on the tip of her toes and started to look for her friend. But she soon found out she was to tiny to see anything, so she turned to flaca with those pleading eyes.

- do you see her? I can't find her, there are like thirty people here - Flaca didn't want to find that girl, she really didn't, but she didn't have it in herself the strength to deny maritza anything. So se started looking for her. It didn't took her very long to find the other inmate, she was the only girl hidden behind a cornerstone. She made a sign for maritza to follow her, and the girl did so immediately. The sooner she ended this subject, the sooner she could have her conversation with maritza. As soon as the pair got close to the girl, her eyes went straight to maritza and she opened a smile that covered her entire face. Bad sign. It got worse when she threw herself on maritza, hugging the girl like those white dudes do to the princesses in the movies they used to watch at movie night. Flaca's hope was just getting smaller and smaller. Her presence wasn't even acknowledged anymore, it's like maritza suddenly forgot she's there. That crushed flaca's heart. Maritza left her aside the moment she found soso. She should have predicted that maritza would found someone better than her. If she was honest, everyone saw it coming. Everything they did together maritza was the one that stood out. On the YouTube channel she started maritza was soon the main star. She must have gotten tired of being with someone that didn't bring anything special to their relationship. Flaca was always the sidekick, never the main star. Even now she was maritza second choice to soso. She was such a joke, in love with her best friend who would never love her back. That thought brought tears to her eyes. She had to get out of there, she would make herself look even more pathetic than she already is if she cried in from of the duo. She looked at maritza knowing it was the last time she'd be seeing her as her bestfriend. Maritza had another best friend now, maybe a girlfriend even. She wasn't needed anymore. She went to bunk quicker than it was humanly possible and threw herself on the bed. Right there, in the place she spent so many nights thinking about maritza and how much she loved her, she was now crying because maritza was not "her" maritza anymore. Team flaritza was now gone and there were nothing she could do about it. She felt a punch in the gut, a pain so intense that she thought she might die. The thought of maritza doing her blog with someone one that wasn't her wrecked her. The thought of maritza doing soso's makeup In the morning didn't feel right, she didn't have the shade of skin flaca did, maritza's spices would not work on her. Thinking about these scenarios just made her feel worse but it wasn't until the thought of maritza climbing into soso's bed at night because she was scared of the loud thunder that the desperation kicked in. She could not let that happen. That was their thing, the one thing that maritza would come to her and only her to make it stop. She couldn't let that puta take her place in maritza's life, HELL NO. And she wouldn't, or her name is not marisol. She just had to figure out how she would do that, because to her it looked like the other girl had a big advantage over her. She needed to think, what would make maritza fall head over heels for her? The "I don't know " came way to quickly on her mind. If she knew the answer to that one she wouldn't be where she is now. Or maybe she would, but maritza would be here with her, cuddling so she could have a better sleep.
Or maybe doing.... other things. That startled her. She wasn't thinking about THAT right now, no way, she needed a fucking plan! She was so angry at herself that she was, again, startled by the knock on the entry of her "room". She jumped In her bed, which caused her head to hit the wall.

- Oh my God! Flaca, are you ok? Is it bleeding? - the pain, even though was very strong, wasn't flaca's focus right now. The fact that maritza was there in front her contradicted every thought flaca had minutes before. She was chocked to say the least.

- Maritza? What are you doing here? - the girl ignored her and approached the bunk, climbing right after.

- could you please stay still so I can check if your head is bleeding? - she was trying to reach the back of flaca's head but she wouldn't stop moving - you're worse than my daughter and she's five.

- I'm ok, it was nothing - she was still deflecting the other girl's hands.

- Flaca! - that was unfair. Maritza couldn't just throw a whine her way and think it would work. Except it did work every time. Why was she so in love with this girl? She let the other girl check her injury and maritza calmed down quickly - there's no blood. That's good.

- told ya - maritza was staring at her now, like she didn't know what to do next - so, why are you here? - maritza's face was a mix of confusion and anger.

- because I wanted to ask you the same thing. You vanished! - flaca didn't see that answer coming, but she didn't back out.

- I didn't want to interrupt the two of you, so I came to my bunk. - maritza was very confused right now. Why would flaca think she was interrupting soso and her? Wait a minute.. OH MY GOD! NO! Flaca did not think soso and her were a thing. There is no way that's what happened! Panic started to run in her veins. Flaca misunderstood completely the situation.
And she needed to know that asap. Their situation was difficult enough without flaca thinking she was dating someone else.

- you got everything wrong. Soso and I are just friends.

- oh.. - was the best answer flaca could give her. She had just cried over something that was not real. THANK GOD! Inside she was throwing a huge party, but she couldn't let maritza notice that.

- sorry if that's what you thought.

- NO! - stay cool, flaca - I mean, no, you don't have to apologize. I just misread the situation - she had a nervous smile while maritza had a wide one.

- wait, did you just say this is your bunk?

- yeah, I've been here since the day I arrived. My bunkmate just got an early release so I guess is just me for now - if maritza's smile got any bigger she would rip her mouth. She slided something on flaca's hand, which made flaca very confused - what's this?

- read it - maritza said with an excitement that reminded of a child on Christmas day - see this? - she pointed at the number of her cell. It couldn't be. Flaca was not that lucky - I guess you got a new roommate now.