Back to me

I have a dream

After Flaca left, the other women kept chatting about the play and enjoying their lunch. But the big doubt was still in their minds, so Blanca couldn't contain herself.

- Ramos, did you know your girl was into this theater stuff? - maritza didn't want to admit she had no idea that her girlfriend was very into the entire theater environment, but that was the true.

- no, I had no idea. She never talked about it. I'm as surprised as you guys are - the four of them just looked at each other and silently decided to let flaca be - but if it's important to her, I'm in. Chapman, if you need anything related to makeup, you know where my bunk is - maritza left, letting a smiling Piper and half of her lunch behind.

- Wait, where IS her bunk? - Flores and Gloria laughed at the blonde's question before explaining how to get to said bunk.

When maritza arrived at her bunk she found a focused flaca carefully spreading a green product on her face. She was so concentrated that she didn't notice her girlfriend's arrival until maritza cleared her throat, claiming her attention. But flaca, instead of giving her the attention she clearly wanted, just climbed on her bed, relaxing her body. When she noticed that there wouldn't be any answer from her girlfriend, maritza started talking.

- so, you are very excited about this play, hu? - she tried.

- Oh, yeah! I am thrilled! Like, I'm not sure i even remember the last time I was this excited about something - maritza knew that answer very well.

- yeah, I'm not sure I've seen you like this. The closest was when they were giving those new jobs at Litchfield that turned out to be just an underwear factory.

- No, it's nothing like that. The reason I wanted to get that job is very different than the reason I want to get this role. I want this role because since I was like, four or something, I was involved with theater. My first play was Cinderella, I wanted to play her so bad I had dreams with it, but the director said a Cinderella had to be white and I would never play her. I almost gave up on theater, but when I was seven they changed the teacher responsible and she was amazing. She always encouraged me to follow my dreams and told me to never believe when someone said I couldn't do something. When I was fourteen she chose pocahontas to be our play for the year. God, I was so excited, we rehearsed every Thursday after class, I never missed one because I was finally going to play my dream character- flaca's face suddenly fell - but, a month before the release of the play, she fell sick. No one at school knew what it was, we found out two weeks later when they gave us the news. She had Mesenteric Venous Thrombosis, and couldn't handle the treatment. After that, no one wanted to do the play and they canceled it - that story was so sad it made maritza's heart hurt. That woman was doing an amazing thing and couldn't finish it because of something that was out of her reach - that's why I want this, this is nothing like the panties work. The reason I wanted that was not a good one like this one. You know, back then I was dealing with a lot of hard stuff and I ended up doing some stupid things - maritza had an idea of what "stuff" flaca was going through, so caressed her arm trying to comfort her.

- you mean stuff with your mom, babe? - it hurt to ask that, but she never found out why flaca suddenly thought that was a good idea to turn back on her family .

- yes, but it was not only that - now maritza was even more interested - it was stuff with you too - oh, really? Did she do something to flaca that was so bad she decided to shut her down? Flaca could read her frowning face and tried to soothe her - it's not your fault, baby. It's just that at that time I was already dealing with my mom's health issues, and then, when you laughed after our kiss, i felt rejected and shut you out. My mind was so blurry and confused with our situation. We were not friends, we were not lovers either. So what were we? My mind was a battlefield and I was slowly wrecking - maritza was tearing up, her girl has been through so much - I know this is not an excuse for how I treated you and all the others. You guys are my family, and when I was wrecked I pushed you away instead of running towards you.

- babe - flaca wasn't meeting her eyes - hey, you don't have to feel bad for that. Yes, I was sad about that whole situation, but that passed. Everyone forgave you a lot time ago, please don't beat yourself up for that, ok? - she kissed her girlfriend's hands so she could feel her presence.

- I guess you're right. I owe Ruiz one though - she recieved a pair of questioning eyebrows from the short woman in front of her - she was the one who convinced me to apologize and stop acting like an imbécil after all.

~~~
she was organizing her bunk when a hurricane stormed into her personal space.

- there you are, perra. We need to talk.

- If it's something about coming back to the kitchen, you can save it, Ruiz.

- sos muy tonta, mismo ! You think I bought that shitty performance of yours in the kitchen today? C'mon, flaca, I know better.

- I'm not sure what you think you know, but you're wrong. Now get out of here! - Ruiz just laughed sarcastically.

- you think you scare me? Oh, Linda, you'll need to try harder than that. - that convinced look on the other girl's face was passing flaca off - I'm not here because our group desperately needs your services, I'm here because someone else got hurt in your act today and that person does NOT deserve it! - flaca was slightly interested now - after you did your big speech and stormed out like a little brat, Ramos would not stop crying. She locked herself in the pantry and would refuse to come out. It took Gloria an hour to get her out, and when she did she had a red nose and puffy eyes. She cried, flaca. During an entire hour, the girl of your dreams was crying in the pantry because of how you treated her. Is that what you want? - flaca had tears rolling down her face and wasn't able to form words, so she just denied with her head - that's what I thought. Go fix it, that girl doesn't deserve it, she's too good for this shit. And right now, I'm starting to think she's too good for you too- she was halfway through the door when she stopped - if you ever want that girl to be more than your friend, you need to start showing, otherwise you might lose your turn.

~~~

- and that, my love, was the moment I realized how bad I was being to you. I changed after that, I promised I would never make you cry again.

- Awn, if it wasn't for that disgusting thing on your face I would murder you with kisses right now - now, that was very interesting to flaca.

- don't let it stop you - she jumped out o bed and started taking the thing off her face the fastest she could. Once it was clear enough, she turned around to face her beautiful girlfriend - seriously, don't let it stop you - maritza laughed at flaca's childish behavior, but adjusted herself so flaca could lie with her and patted the space so she could read her intentions. The other girl definitely didn't waist time, throwing herself at the empty space on the bed and letting herself be covered with delicate kisses - Ruiz is a fucking Godmother! - and they both laughed.

*I hope you like this. The health issue flaca's teacher had was the same one my mom had about a year ago. I live without her for about almost 1 year now and I still miss her a lot. I thought that writing that could be a way to make a tribute to her.

** please comment so I know you're enjoying it.