~still Shawn's pov~
"What? Why do you hate me?" I ask, actually hurt that she said that to me. She begins laughing and I smile softly to myself.
"I'm just kidding Peter Raul. Actually I uh... I think I love you. Well, I know I love you." She says and I lean closer to her. Finally. I finally know that she feels the same way I feel.
"I love you more." I say, kissing her cold lips quickly and sweetly before pulling back. She begins laughing to herself and I furrow my eyebrows.
"Did we really just say our I love you's on my deathbed." She asks and I feel my heart burn at her saying that.
"Don't say that Bri. You're not dying." I say and she turns to me, her big brown eyes now droopy and holding no emotion, her lips the color of the ocean on a cloudy day, her skin as pale as the snow on the ground and her face so caved in she resembled a skeleton.
"Then why do I feel like dying?" She mutters and I grip her hand tighter, tears begin falling from my eyes and I bite down on my lip, bringing her hand to my lips and placing a small kiss on it.
"Please don't say that Bri. Please don't give up on me." She begins closing her eyes as one of the monitors begins beeping quicker than before. "No. No! Bri come on!" I stand up quickly as a doctor runs in feels her heartbeat.
"We lost a pulse. We need to get her up into inpatient with a feeding tube as soon as possible if we want her to live." She says to another doctor as I move out of their way, fighting tightly on my hair.
I watch as the nurse begins doing chest compressions on Bri's frail body, causing her body to move along with the movements more severely. The doctor continues but looks up at the other doctor.
"Alright. Charge to 360." The doctor instructs as they pull out the defibrillator paddles. "You might want to look away for this one kid." The doctor says towards me but I don't move.
"Clear." The other doctor says while holding the paddles down on Bri's chest. She jolts up quickly then falls back down, while both doctors watch the monitor intensely.
"Again!" The main doctor instructs and the other one repositions the paddles.
"Clear." He says once more, Bri's body jolting up and everyone staring intensely at the monitor. The flat line turns into a beating rhythm and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I rush back over to Bri and the doctor looks at me.
"Is any of her family on the way?"
"Her brother is. Her dad is away on a business trip so her older brother is looking after her." I respond and the woman nods, looking down at Bri's body.
"We need consent to bring her to inpatient. She needs a feeding tube and transporting her with it will be hard." The doctor sighs, but right as she's thinking of what to do, Kyle runs through the door and over to Bri.
"How is she?" He asks towards the doctor who looks down at Bri then up at him.
"Well we lost a pulse for a few minutes. If it weren't for Shawn, Bri might not be here right now." the doctor says but I just keep my head down. "You're the brother?"
"Yes. Kyle Stevens."
"Ok good. We need someone to sign the consent forms for her inpatient care at our eating disorder ward." The doctor says, passing Kyle a a clipboard and pen.
"A-and how long will she be there for?" Kyle ask, gripping the pen tightly.
"Does it really matter Kyle! Look at her." I snap, biting down at my nail before apologizing for my outburst.
"She'll be evaluated there. But from what we've had to perform and the state she's currently in I would say no less then 2 months." The doctor says causing Kyle and I to let out shaky breaths.
"It's going to help her." I say, more to myself than anyone. Kyle signs the forms in multiple spots then hands it back to the doctor, who pages a few people and they all begin wheeling Bri over to the elevator. The elevator ride was so silent, you could hear the drip from Bri's Iv. Once the elevator stopped on the floor and the doors opened I noticed how colorful and bright everything was, rather than the dull emergency room. The doctors wheel her bed into a room and set her body back up to everything around the bed. I look around the room and it looked more like a bedroom than a hospital room. The whole one wall was covered in windows and even had a window seat. There was one bed for Bri then a big couch for sleeping on leant against the wall next to it. She also had a tv and a bathroom.
"So we need to put a feeding tube in her. Between her levels being so low and you previously telling us about her refusing to eat this will be what's best for her. You guys might want to exit or turn away while this is being performed." The doctor says to Kyle and I but I just nod and sit down on the couch, watching as they stick a long, skinny tube up Bri's nose. I didn't know how long it was but they just kept going further and further into her and I furrowed my eyebrows.
"Where exactly does this feeding tube go?" I ask and the nurse finishes then turns to me, putting a piece of tape on the side of Bri's cheek to keep the tube in place.
"The tube goes up her nose then down into her stomach. If she shows behavior of wanting it out and eating naturally we can take it out and reinsert it at anytime." The nurse smiles and I nod and get up, talking a seat in the chair next to Bri's bed.
"I just want her to get better. How long do you think she'll be here for?" I ask and the nurse lets out a sigh.
"With the condition that she's currently in and the fact that she's not eating, they'll probably want her in inpatient around 2 months." She says and I nod looking down.
"Well thank you." I say and she nods before exiting the room.
I turn towards Bri's body and see something almost unrecognizable. Her skin pale, lips purple and agape, skeletal like features from the lack of fat on her. I notice her eyelids beginning to move so I move a little closer and start running small circles on her hand.
"Bri? It's Shawn." I say and her eyes lightly open and turn towards me.
"Babe?" She croaks out, her voice sounding even raspier and hoarse from before. I put a hand on her cheek and let off a reassuring smile.
"Hey darling."
"Shawn, what's in my nose?" She asks and I sigh. I start combing through her hair lightly trying to think if I should tell her the truth or lie.
"It's a feeding tube babe. You're in the eating disorder inpatient center at the hospital." I say and she weakly turns her head to look up at the ceiling. I watch a tear roll down her cheek and I take my thumb and wipe it away. "Bri it's ok. This will help you get better."
"Why would you take me here Shawn?" She asks, more hurt in her voice than anger but I couldn't help but feel all the walls caving in.
"Bri you were on the street floor unconscious. We can't keep pretending like things are going to get better without help." I say and her lips begin trembling.
"I want to go home." She mumbles, her voice cracking, on the verge of tears.
"Bri you can't. Kyle signed the forms, you're gonna be here a while. But I'll be here everyday with you." I say and her tears quicken, falling down her cheeks like little waterfalls.
"Shawn my mom died here. Just please take me home." She says and I bite down hard on my lip looking down. Yea, maybe taking her home will feel better but then what? Another night where she's unconscious on the ground?
"I'm so sorry Bri. I'm doing this because I love you." I sigh and she just turns to me with a small glare.
"I wish I just died."
