I hate you. I don't actually, though. But you give me a sick feeling in my stomach. I'm trying not to lose myself loving you, but truthfully if this was true love i wouldn't have to lose myself. I give so much of myself to you, i leave nothing for myself. You make me angry. I constantly let you use me, i allow you to take advantage of the fact that i love you so much that i would do anything for you. I want to say things that i know will make you hurt, because i want you to know the pain you put me through. And now you're tasting your own medicine, your own poison. I want to know what my absence feels like in your life, what does it feel like? You've dumbfounded me, many times. I never understood how you could leave someone who puts you on a pedestal, who showers you with love and affection; for someone who made you feel smaller than them, who degraded you, who chewed you up and spit you out without a single care in the world. Truth is, you did not deserve, and you do not deserve me. You don't love me, and don't say you do. "It's not like love at first sight, really. It's more like... gravity moves. When you see her, suddenly it's not the earth holding you here anymore. She does. And nothing matters more than her. And you would do anything for her, be anything for her... You become whatever she needs you to be, whether that's a protector, or a lover, or a friend." I only know this, because i felt that. I know she tore you apart, but you killed the person my soul used to be. I constantly thought it was my responsibility to bring you back to who you were, to rebuild you up when she had torn you down so much. But i realize, it's not. Because it doesn't matter how much i give you, it wouldn't matter if i ripped my heart out of my chest and placed it in your hands with it still beating. My love will always be too great but at the same time never enough for you. I will be too strong for you. I have to teach myself to unlove you, because within my heart i know you will never truly love me. I wrapped myself around you for two years, and that's my fault. I am so sorry for loving you the way i did. I'm so sorry to you, but mostly I'm sorry to myself. I can no longer justify your actions and the way you hurt me. I would love to stick around to see what kind of man you turn out to be, but i cannot do that as a lover, because half of you isn't enough for me. So tonight, when you're in your bed thinking about how you're no longer the man you used to be, how she took your soul and ran away with it. Remember that's how i felt, double-fold.
"I had all and then most of you, some and now none of you."
