Zora

Chapter Nineteen

Linking her arm in Terrance's, Zora walked through the park in silence. After her mugging the prior day, she didn't want to be cooped up in the house. It was better to be out in the open where she could remember that not everyone was going to get hurt and that it wasn't likely it would happen two days in a row. As long as she was more attentive to her surroundings, she knew she would be fine.

The prior night she was at a low point, trapped in her mind. There were multiple times in Georgia where she let her guard down and was hurt by a harasser. New York may have been a different place, but it did not mean that everyone was going to be accepting. There would always be kind people and there would always be rude people. She just had to keep her eyes open for those who were rude.

"How are you holding up?" Terrance asked as he felt her tremble.

"I'm doing alright," she said in an attempt to calm herself down. "I'll be fine."

"I've got you," he promised, patting her hand. "So, why are we out in public?"

"To prevent myself from becoming too scared to leave the house. I don't want to be a hermit," she chuckled to herself.

"Don't worry. I've got you. Promise."

Terrance and Zora continued to walk through the park in silence. Zora soon quit her shaking and was able to walk without holding onto Terrance. She clasped her hands behind her back as she stared at her surroundings in awe. "Georgia was never this beautiful. At least not in my part of town."

"There really was nothing great about Georgia, was there?"

Zora shrugged. "No, not really. Even before I came out people hated me for not being masculine enough. Since it was a small school, no more than two hundred people, everyone knew everyone. And if you know someone is getting bullied, you don't step in or else you could be next."

"So, no one tried to help you? Not even the teachers?" he asked incredulously.

Zora shook her head. "No. The only way they tried to help me was by trying to make me more masculine. But I knew I was a girl. I was just too scared to come out. I was already getting harassed enough for being a feminine man. Who knew what they would do to me if they found out I was actually a girl?

"Eventually, the bullying got so bad that one day I snapped. I figured if there was no way to stop myself from getting beaten, I might as well do something that would make me happy. At home I would wear girl's clothes all the time, and my father didn't know for a while. At the time, he just didn't care about me enough to check and see how I was doing. The divorce caused him to be a bit spacious.

"It wasn't until he caught me dressed as a girl that he got mad and tried to beat the woman out of me. But being myself was the only thing that made me happy, so I didn't stop. Eventually I began to wear my dresses and skirts to school. Sure, I was bullied worse than ever before, but I was myself. No one could take that away from me.

"All the clothes I bought had to be bought through the cult leader. I would give him the money, and he would buy the clothes. He was the only person in town who didn't care about who I was. He was an outcast too, so we both needed a friend. He was the only person who I could even consider a friend, even though he wasn't actually. It would have been more of a disaster if anyone found out, and he felt the same way about me. He didn't want to be known as the man who befriended a tranny, or else no one would join his cult. Not that anyone was joining before, but...you know," she explained.

Terrance was quiet throughout her explanation. He didn't know how to fathom anything she said. To know his own sister had to go through so much pain and tribulation day by day yet still stood strong through it all was admirable. While he was withering away in the closet out of fear of unacceptance, she faced it head on and took the criticism head on because it was better to be herself than lie about who she was.

She was his hero.

He wanted to be out like Zora, but he knew he couldn't. Not yet. He could handle coming out to his family and everyone in his friend group, but coming out to everyone at school was terrifying. Even Zora took some time before coming out to everyone at school. Though, she did come out to everyone all at once.

The logical next step for him would be to come out to his friends, but he was afraid of them being the one's to turn their backs on him. He knew they knew, but he wasn't ready to take the next step.

"How are you holding up?" Zora asked, noticing just how scared he was.

"I'm alright," he nodded. "I want to be just like you."

"You know you can be. Coming out is scary, but it is so rewarding to not hide who you are anymore or no longer be on edge of someone discovering your secret. It's exhilarating. And you're friends will be right by your side. We won't let anyone take you down." Cupping his cheeks with both her hands, she stared deep into his eyes in determination. "I will not let you go through what I did."

Removing her hands from his face, Terrance flashed her a sad smile. "I don't want to come out like you did. I only want my closest friends and family to know. I'll wait for other people to know until I'm ready."

As Terrance began to walk in the direction of their house, Zora sighed. She knew he was still having trouble accepting himself. She would never force him to come out, but she knew that the sooner he accepted himself, the happier he would be.