Tattoo Namkook

Chapter 9

It's been a week and everyone thinks I've been clean. But little do they know I've just been getting worse. Today Namjoon was gonna take me out on a date to celebrate that I've been clean for a week. I got dressed into a sweater and some jeans. "Your gonna wear a sweater?" I nodded. "Why? You've been clean for a week." I sighed ready to make up an excuse. "I don't want people seeing my scars." He nodded. "Fine lets go." I smiled and held his hand. We walked to the car and got in. Well technically I had to let god of his hand curse I was in crutches.

As soon as we got to the restaurant people looked at us weirdly. I ignored it even though I felt uncomfortable. We sat at our table and ordered are food. I sat beside Namjoon playing with his fingers. He looked down at me and smiled warmly at me. I poked his dimples and then leaned in to kiss him. I pecked him on the lips and then the waitress arrived with are food. "Thank you." She smiled then looked at Namjoon and passed him a paper winking at him.

I frowned and snatched the paper from Namjoon. Her phone number was written on it. I crumpled it up and walked over to a garbage can and tossed it in. I walked back to Namjoon and sat down crossing my arms. He put his arm around my shoulder. "I would never cheat on you I love you and you know that." I sighed and leaned on him. "I'm sorry I'm just afraid of being Alone." He nodded and picked up some of my food and put the fork of food in my mouth. "Eat up I didn't bring you here to be upset." He smiled and I smiled back eating my food.

He grabbed my wrist making me flinch in pain. "Why's your sleeve red?" I swallowed my food. "It's just ketchup joonie." He nodded. "Okay I'm just making sure." I nodded. What if he finds out? What do I say? Why am I such a disappointment? I sighed and continued eating.

•timeskip•

We sat down into the car. Something felt off. Like something was about happen and I don't know what. Namjoon hadn't started up the at he just sat there. "A-Are we going home yet?" I asked feeling uneasy. "Show me your wrist." "W-what? Why?" He sighed. "Just do it." I shook my head. "No there's nothing for you to see." He grabbed my wrist and I tried pulling away. "Stop struggling!" I stopped.

Tears streaming down my face. He lifted up my sleeves to reveal healing wounds and fresh cuts from today and days before. "N-Namjoon I-I'm Sorry! Please don't h-hate me for my stupidity!" He pulled me into a hug. I could hear him crying. "Why?! Why couldn't you stop?" I felt disappointment in myself. "Because it's an Addiction." He looked straight into my eyes. "I'm sorry..I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I should've stopped but I couldn't!" I started rambling and he sighed. "It's okay..just please come to me if you feel that way again." I nodded wiping my tears away.

When we got home I rushed to the bathroom and cried. "I'm such a ducking disappointment!" I grabbed my hair pulling at it. I searched for my blade and quickly put it to my wrist. I cried as I rocked back and forth debating if I should do it or not. I sobbed a little to loud and Namjoon knocked on the doors. "Jungkook?" I ignored him and continued to cry. "Jungkook Open this door right now!" I dug the blade into my skin and couldn't find the courage to do it. I made myself slowly drag it down my skin. The door opened and Namjoon knocked the blade out of my hand immediately hugging me.

"It's going to be okay." He shushed me and told me everything is gonna be okay.i felt a headache from all the crying and calmed down breathing in and out of my mouth. I coughed and closed my mouth. I was so exhausted that my eyelids closed and I fell asleep. I'm glad he came and saved me from another mistake.

•Namjoon pov•

I woke up to vomiting. I got up quickly and rushed to the bathroom. Jungkook was hunched over the toilet puking. I patted his back. "I-(pukes) want-(puked) to-s-stop!-" he continued to puke. "Aww baby~" I rubbed his back. He sat beside the toilet and wiped the puke off his lips. His skin was pale and his eyes where puffy and red. He closed his eyes as he huffed. "I'll go get some medicine." I got up and walked over to the cabinets. I opened the one to the left and took out some medicine. I rushed over to Jungkook and grabbed a couple pills. I passed them to him and a glass of water.

I turned the faucet and filled the tub with warm water. "Take a bath it'll make you feel better." He slowly got up groaning. "Please I can't..." I sighed feeling bad for him. "What do you need help with? You need a bath." He licked his lips. "M-my...clothes." I grabbed his shirt. "Arms up." He raised his arms and I pulled it off ignoring his scars in his body. I pulled of his socks and started unzipping his jeans. "Please don't look..." I looked away and pulled off his jeans. "I-I'll manage the rest." "Okay just call me if you need me." He nodded and I walked out.

I decided to cook some breakfast for him so he would get some food into his system. I hummed to a random tune and cooked him some eggs. "I think he's coming down with a flu.." I scratched the back of my neck. "I'm worried about him..." I sighed. "Maybe I should send him to a mental hospital?" I placed the eggs into the plate and cooked some toast. "I hope things don't get that bad..."