I'm a person who believes that some things in life are worth waiting for. Yet, I am not sure I'm one of those things, I'd like to think I am. I'll be back in my room after almost 3 months, my room, where I made have paintings of him. I can't even look at pictures of him without getting this.. bittersweet feeling in my chest.
We wanted to have kids one day, a dog, a nice countryside house, but most importantly, each other. Dallas, that was a name he said he'd like for a baby boy. He looked so excited every time we'd talk about it.
I've had to destroy and rebuild then thought of us having a future 3 times in less than a year. I had to go from holding on to the idea of the good things that awaited us, to being left hopeless, to feeling nothing, feeling scared.
Dallas... I'll try my best to make you real. And to the boy I love, I promise to wait, I'll make you proud. I can't say I'm not scared, but I belive in us.
I miss hearing your voice..
Love, AD
