It's my first day if school, and I'm nervous, and also a senior. I see new faces everywhere, I wish he was one of them, a new kid, one of the freshmen. At least then I'd be able to see him. I'd be caught off guard, and would find myself wondering his age, blushing when I realize I've been staring.
I'd try to sit closer to him, until one day, I'd ask if I could sit with him, a nervous smile on my face. He would be listening to music, and would be completely ignored. Still, I'd keep trying, then I'd try to start a conversation. I know he hates small talk, but I'd try to make it interesting.
I wish I could see him, even as a friend. Of course I'd have a huge crush on him, but I'd do my best to ignore it. His father would hate me a little less, his mother... well, she'd hate me anyways. But, no matter what my brain wants, he's not here, at all. And won't be here anytime soon. I wanted to go with him to prom, I wanted to hold hands... I still want to. And, despite being sad, the thought of him leaving not because he wanted to, but because his mother made him, gives me some comfort.
I made many promises to him, and I intend on fulfilling every single one of them.
I hope he's ok.
Love, AD
