Now the water is too cold, but I still need to shower. I'm going out, to explore a city I've only ever seen in pictures. I'll probably get a tattoo, they hurt like hell, but it's a matching one with my sister.
I wanted my first tattoo to be about him, but I may need to wait for that, everything is expensive. He wants a wolf tattoo, and a quote, if I remember correctly. I hope I can make that happen.
My mother wouldn't be happy about me getting one, she thinks my arm will fall off or something along the lines of that Facebook article she read once. She and I get along pretty well, she respects my feelings, and I take into consideration her advise in most matters. She really is a good mom. His mom is a whole different story, and the reason why we find ourselves in this... rather depressing situation.
I'm 18 years old, a high school senior. My grades are mediocre for the first time in my life, and I'm really confused about what to do now. I planned on moving north, to "follow love", as my mother calls it. But, now, my plans for my college years have to change. The one thing I know for sure is that I want to wait for him. Yet, I do not know what he wants, what he'll do. Will he wait for me? I wish I knew. I'll wait for as long as it's needed, but the thought of finding him one day with someone else, someone younger, happily dating and planning for the future is a possibility I rather ignore.
He'll move on, you're not that special "Golden boy". You are lying, he wouldn't do that. He loves me, he promised he'll marry me. Then why did he tell you to move on? His mother made him say those things, I know he doesn't want me to give up, I promised I wouldn't. Suit yourself, don't come crying when you realize I am right. Don't worry, I know him more than that.
People say that the first love is the purest one, yet it most cases it fails to stand the test of time. I want to prove them wrong, I want to be with him one day, and if he doesn't want the same... well, maybe.. maybe he did mean what he said.
Love, AD
