4321 | pjm ✓

until we ache

⚂

You were the first one to look away.

I looked away too, but not after staring at you. You seem unfazed by me. I fail to hide that it hurts.

I swallow again, staring blankly at the sky, again.

I don't have that effect on you anymore. I don't make you feel things anymore. Maybe because I mean nothing like how I used to be.

We mean nothing like how we used to be.

It aches, the seconds, the minutes. The silence is almost tangible, it pierces between us, like a thin sharp blade. Your hands, your skin, only centimeters away from mine. It's painful how close our proximity is, because we aren't touching.

I want to be thankful that you're here with me, but you seem so far away. How do I call you back? How do I reach you? I don't want to keep this inside me anymore. I might explode, and my heart might scar enough to not feel love again.

Trust me when I say I tried loving for the sake of love itself but it wasn't real enough. It wasn't mine to share. It just wasn't them.

There's no reason. Because no matter what I do, no matter where I look, it's just you.

"I want you back."

The words tumble out of my mouth like a landslide. I was tired to keep a hold. And there it is, laid bare, all out for the sky to see, for the universe to hear.

For you to ponder, for you to think about.

This isn't any coincidence, that we unknowingly met here. This is what the universe laid out for us, to talk, to figure things out.

"I don't think you can say that."

"I'm.. I'll be here. I'll stay. I'll—"

"Jimin, we have different worlds now."

I hold your hand, my skin sighing, finally having to touch you. It was just a small try, only my index with yours. But it's addicting and soon enough I'm entwining your hands in mine.

You don't pull away, but your eyes don't look at me as soft. You only look ahead, no where near me.

"Don't start something you can't finish."

You say it so terse, so crisp, but am I right if I hear a little urging? Maybe it's just me. But either way, I don't think I can let myself leave here without admitting my feelings to you. I don't think I can leave here without telling you.

"I told you, I can stay."

"You can, but will you?"

"I will. If you want me to.."

You shake your hands away from me.

"And if I don't want you here?"