cigarette butts ➸ michael clifford

07. Michael

"Hey, Mikey."

...

"Mike."

"No."

"George Michael."

"What, Ben?!"

Week 2 in the Big Brother house and I was ready to abort this mission.

Ben was sarcastic, energetic, needy, but honest. Being sarcastic is probably why he got on with Ruby so well. I had been walking with Ruby to music, last week, when he decided to butt in, follow us around the facility and introduce himself. Despite being a dick, all three of us got on pretty well. We spent some of our frees together, but we never showed Ben the roof. That was ours.

Ben was, in nicer terms, an ex-heroin addict. It made sense when you looked at his personality. He was also constantly trying to keep everything and everyone together. Are you unhappy? Lets make you happy. Are you happy? Lets make you happier. I had to be grateful for the kid, though. I had been really struggling this week, wanting a drink more than anything, but he'd been there to pick me up. Ruby didn't know about the way I was feeling, because I refused to tell her. When I was with Ruby, keeping her clueless and happy was my main priority. Ben knew and as soon as he had threatened to tell her, I had him up against a wall by his neck. He promised not to talk.

"It's funny how you answer to George Michael," he grinned.

"Fuck you," I muttered, lying on the floor.

We were all lying on the floor, actually. Drama was our current session, but the activity leader had left the room, telling us to stay lying down. We were meditating or something. There were about 15 of us in this small dance studio, as we were meant to be practicing for a play, but a few of us were refusing and the activity leader was fed up. Ben was next to me and we had separated from the group, because frankly, they were crazy.

"Look over there," Ben whispered.

"That's very vague," I mumbled, staring off at the group.

"Look at the girl!" he hissed.

"There are about 8 girls over there."

Ben growled rolling over on to his stomach, his eyes darting left to right, scanning the group that only moved when they were twitching with insanity.

"That one, missing her front teeth and has a bow in her hair," he pointed.

I looked at her, my face scrunching up in disgust, the non-existent bile bubbling up in my throat.

"I could of went the rest of my life without looking at her," I said, looking away.

"I use to shoot up with her," he grinned. "Sometimes we'd smoke crystal, too, but we'd shoot it and then fuck."

"Shut up before I throw up my fucking kidneys in your mouth," I spat.

"She is more talented than anyone could give her credit for," he laughed. "She really knew how to take a di-"

"MY MILKSHAKE BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD, DAMN RIGHT, IT'S BETT-"

"Michael!" the activity leader yelled.

Ben was rolling around cackling, whilst I shut my mouth, looking like a tomato in the process. All the other residents just stared at me, including her. I had to apologize, stretching out my leg and kicking Ben's balls in one swift movement.

"Right! Sorry for the delay, I'm glad to see some of you are relaxed," she said with a sour look.

She continued on, telling us all about the play and when we were going to perform it. I silently counted myself out, wanting nothing to do with this shit.