Changed

Chapter 5: Life Changes I Guess....

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There were pictures of me everywhere-at school, at our friends first Broadway play, holding hands in the park. The ones of Edan outnumbered them though. First there were just the two of them, Kyle and Edann, the brand-new boyfriends; and then, of Kyle, Edann and me. Edann looked pissed off at any picture I was in. Didn’t Kyle notice that?

I stretched out on the soft blue bedspread, feeling as if I had just set down a heavy load of books. It was incredible to me that he had been sleeping on this wonderful bed, in his own room. I didn’t even know if my house was still standing. If it was I could go back, get more clothes, get my valuables and money. Kyle would go with me. We could look for Edann on the way.

I dozed. Kyle held me, each time I inhaled, he exhaled. It had been that way in the early days, for us. When Edann came along, he added something new; he was a literal breath of fresh air. Even I had been charmed by the surfer dude who had lived in L.A and he knew movie people who might be able to help me. He talked about working as a stand-in. He hung around stunt men. His uncle rented out his surf shop as a movie set.

But once he was sure of Kyles love, he changed. I saw it happen. Kyle didn’t. Maybe changed was the wrong word; around me he became chilly and disinterested and I knew he was never going to introduce me to anyone in the industry. But Kyle didn’t see it.

Edann had actually been kind of a vampire. He sucked up anything he wanted. Near the end I could almost predict when he’d show his other face. My mom used to say we should give Edann benefit of the doubt because he had been though a lot. Any guy who was gay had been though a lot. So we had to be nice to him, even though he was a jerk. I knew my mom would never say to him, we put up with your bad behaviour but welcome to the real world now, where is doesn’t revolve around you. My mom would never say anything like that of course.

Because she is dead.

But she had never talked liked that, not even when I was the most drug-crazy, all she said was that I was hurting. But even when I was at my worst, she would have still done anything to help Kyle become more, more of all the wonderful things Kyle was.

“God, I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered, nuzzling the back of my head. I cried some more and he held me.

There was a soft knock on the door. Mrs Michaels whispered, “Its dinner time.”

I was very hungry, and the smell of food was making me clench and unclench my hands. But Kyle had fallen asleep with his arm over me. I tried to figure out a way to slide out from underneath him without waking him up but I couldn’t manage it so I stayed beside him. My arms began to ache and my stomach growled.

As I contracted and released my muscles, trying to keep the blood circulating, when I heard Mrs Michaels crying. It was high pitched and it set me on edge.

“No one is helping us!” Mrs Michaels wept. “No one.”

Hungry, despairing and exhausted, I listened to the rain and wondered about Heaven and Hell. Then I let myself sleep for the first time since I turned 16.