Derailed

Chapter Seventeen

I must have had a 48 hour virus, because two days later, I felt like myself again. I was glad to be better in time for Ben's show. After the way he'd taken care of me, I wouldn't have missed it unless I absolutely had to.

Kelly didn't think she could make the show because she had a tasting scheduled with the caterer. I wasn't sure if Ben was serious about me going with Jake rather than alone, but I decided to call and find out. He was. He arranged for Jake to pick me up. Part of me was glad. We needed to clear the air. We'd known each other our entire lives. There was no reason we couldn't call a truce.

It felt funny to be picked up by Jake. He still drove the same black Jeep Wrangler he'd had in high school. He had the top off, and I couldn't completely hide my excitement. I'd always had a soft spot for jeeps.

"Hey, thanks for the ride," I said politely as he pulled away from the curb with just a nod in my direction.

"Not a problem. Ben was pretty insistent." Jake was more dressed up than usual, wearing a collared shirt. I wondered what occasion warranted the upgrade.

"I'm sorry you got pushed into it then. Is being in my presence that loathsome to you?" I turned toward him, daring him to answer.

"No, it's not completely loathsome." He smirked.

"So... any reason why you've been such a jerk? I'm used to us fighting, but this feels way too personal."

He looked over at me before turning onto the main road. "You really want to know?"

"Yeah, I want to know."

"You nearly destroyed my brother. You took his heart and smashed it, and because that wasn't enough, you had to make him think it was his fault."

It felt like whiplash. If I'd known how much the truth would hurt, I wouldn't have asked for it. I couldn't respond.

I stared out at the darkening sky. I should never have broached the subject, I told myself. All I wanted to do was get out of the car and go home. I fumbled with my seatbelt, ready to do just that when I realized that doing so would hurt Ben more. I couldn't run from him again. At that moment, I made a decision. I came to the realization that the whole casual label had to go. There was no way I could crush Ben again. Pretending that I could protect him from me would have to stop. The truth was that Ben never had a chance.

"Molly?" I realized that I must have been silent for some time.

"Yes? What do you expect me to say?"

"Anything... Call me an asshole, something."

"Why do you want me to fight with you so much?"

"Because it's easier that way. I like being mad at you. I don't like feeling sorry for you." He shifted gears.

"Then don't feel bad for me."

"I won't. Because you know what? You are a lucky son of a bitch."

"You do realize I'm a girl, right?"

"You know what I mean. You're lucky to have Ben, and you aren't going to screw him over again. I know you're in love with him, so try not to deny it this time." Jake half smiled as we pulled onto the interstate.

"I'm not denying it. I'm thinking of telling him I want more tonight."

"Good." Jake turned up the radio, blaring some classic rock song I didn't know the name of.

The wind in my hair felt freeing, and I tried to unwind. Jake and I rode in silence. Things felt better now that he'd said his piece.

He broke the silence by turning down the volume. "You know if you end up marrying Ben, your name is going to be Molly Mathews."