Once my minds goes back
to those days
i experienced
true loss in myself
i would never
let myself be messed with
bullied even
by my own mind
and locks don't exist
the doors are no longer closed
no longer a safe place
and the squeaky sound from
the forbidden era
makes me quiver
slight movement
like a trampoline bouncing me
i always end up confused
and it makes me question
how i find myself
floating amongst others
when gravity would usually
pull me back down
the ground moves
in circles underneath me
my eyes locked in sight
feeling lightheaded and dizzy
even though I'm covered in people
i've never been this deaf
and I'm in agony
of what has happened
and my mind keeps punishing me
and pushing me
for things I can't control
and memories that will never leave me alone
but I tell them please
Leave me alone
I don't like it
and my chest is rising
but not falling
and my eyes are watering
non stop withdrawals
for tears I don't want anymore
and memories that should have left long ago
my tears used to be a
relaxation from my stiffness
but right now
I am a living human
without the living
and I'm not okay
which should be okay
but it's not
i point to my head
and give it a tap
the silence is
quiet
and it's scribbles
gives me what I might need
to relax
but relaxing is no longer an option of mine
and that's why I'm not coming back down
but it's good to know
i'm still going up
YOU ARE READING
fading stem with never ending petal blooms
Randomupside down smile realization hits no one is as happy as happy gives out to be eyes bloom with colors of violet realization hurts and observing happiness is for the blind to see
