K. Everson

EXPLANATION!!!

Hey you guys i know it's been a while and there's a reason for that. So I've always been pretty transparent with you all when it comes to things going on with me and that hasn't changed. These past couple of months have been some of THE hardest months of my life. As you all know i was engaged at one point to a woman whom i agreed to have a family with . Let's just say that is no longer the case Teddy is 3 now and me and his mother weren't seeing eye to for the longest and it got to a point she would spazz out for no apparent reason and always claim she didn't remember the things she said to me such as me being a horrible parent and that teddy hates me. Well i officially left last night i got fed up y'all ain't go believe last night I cried harder than I've ever cried before i mean like an ugly loud non stop cry and the things she said to me last night and any other time we argued always had me questioning myself.

I kept asking myself "What is wrong with me" "Why am i not good enough" and the biggest question "What am i doing wrong" and after crying i had to realize that it wasn't me there is NOTHING wrong with me and that not only was i good enough i always went above and beyond and that no matter how hard i tried i did everything i possibly could right.

Being in that relationship and writing or reading these books made me realize i was worth so much more than what i was putting myself through and i shouldn't let anyone else's personal issues make me question myself or myself worth. I never wanna feel like i felt last night. I love my son with my heart and soul and nothing will change that she can tell him all the bad things she wants but ultimately i believe he will know the truth. But at this point I'm not allowed to see him that's the down fall about these types of situations when your not married to the person you can't legally adopt the child so i have no say so and it hurts. I was literally one second away from taking my own life last night y'all and just knowing that i let her in my head that much makes me cry because i feel as if i became so weak but I'm not weak i just gave my love to the wrong person and believed that she would change.

I was on a high last night and i let her bring me down well I'm not doing it again because i know myself worth i was wonderfully and beautifully made just not for her and people can never appreciate things that aren't meant for them all this time i was writing about a woman coming to terms and loving herself and somewhere along the way i stopped loving me and it's not happening again i refuse to let it.

So be prepared for a chapter coming for all books i love y'all i thank y'all and i pray y'all understand

Peace and love ✌🏾😘