Swinging Soundwaves- {Art Book #6}

RECIPE FOR SEXINESS BY MOZZIU

tHIS IS NOT A SHITPOST Y'ALL

LET ME LEARN YOU A THING THAT I MUST SHARE WITH THE WORLD

Okay if you think you know fuckall about anything in the beauty industry you have heard of the Smooth Legs Fanclubs' lord and savior, the Suagr Scrub

Now I have made sugar scrubs in the past and they dont hold a candle. No, they dont hold a MATCHSTICK to the miracle working flavortown scrub I have made today.

I had a relaxing bath. I scrubbed this shit on my legs and shaved off SO MUCH DEAD SKIN it clogged the razor repeatedly. RepEATEDLY.

SCRUB THIS SHIT ON YOUR ARMS, LEGS, HAIRY ASS FEET AND CHEST (just not your lady bit or man parts nope nope not goof they're diabetic do not give them sugar pls and thank you)

And then SHAVE SHAVE SHAVE
ALL THAT NASTY DEAD SKIN GUNK WILL SLOUGH RIGHT OFF YOU AND YOU WILL BE AS SMOOTH AND FIERCE AS AN OBSIDIAN BLADE I SHIT YOU NOT

THE BEST PART IS THST YOU CAN MAKE THIS SHIT OUT OF PERFECTLY USELESS HOUSEHOKD INGREDIANTS IT IS SO EASY

And even if you say "Aww Mozz what's even the point, my hair grows back in like a day" WELL NOT ANYNORE YOU BIG BABY BECAUSE THIS SHIT WILL GIVE YOUR HAIR FOLICLES A GOOD VISIT TO THE UNDERWORLD SO IT WILL TAKE FOREVER TO REGROW

AND EVEN BETTER. IM GONNA GIVE YOU THE RECIPE

- 1 cup of brown sugar
(none of that granulated white cane bs. Brown is where it's at.

-1/2 cup of oil. (Coconut, olive, jojoba. All are good, pick your fave)

-3 tablespoons of coffe grounds (this is the magic hair-away ingredient. Use tmwhatever available, strong coffe ewuals strong scrub so DONT PUT THIS SHIT IN YOUR EYES)

AND THAT'S IT
THREE SIMPLE ASS INGREDIENTS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE 100% SMOOTHER

Want to be extra? THROW SOME ESSEBTIAL OILS IN THAT BITCH. I like the citrus-y stuff, it complements the coffee.

Now SHAVE WITH CONFIDENCE MY SLIPPERY SMOOTH CHILDREN

Dont like my exact measurements? Sugar scrub dont care! Just remember 2 parts sugar to 1 part oil. Thats twice as much sugar than oil. The coffee amount is my personal preference. But try not to go overboard and add so much that you end up brewing your sekf a nice cup of joe in your bathwater.

Anyone who tries this make sure to tell me how great it is because I feed off of adoration and I want you all to feel as god-level as I do rn

THIS HAS BEEN A PSA