The Mind Virus

Chapter 7 - Part 1

"Hello, Cuddlebug." Emma's soothing tones would have been a comfort to Jim on any other day, but today, for some reason, he was feeling on edge and they seemed to almost grate on him.

"Hey, Em."

"How's your big case going?"

"It's going. I went to – well, it's kind of a long story, but I'm making progress. I've got some stuff I can look into further."

"Ooh, what kind of stuff?"

"Just something I collected." Jim stared at his screen quietly.

"What's wrong, Jimmy?" A hint of concern was showing in Emma's voice. "I'm not used to you being so... laconic."

"Nothing. It's nothing. I'm just not feeling well is all."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"There's nothing to talk about." Emma's webcam wasn't on, but Jim could picture the frustrated expression that was surely gracing her face as she said nothing. "Look, I'm fine. Why don't you tell me what you've been up to since we last spoke?"

Emma spoke, but Jim was tuning out. Something about going out with friends. Something about seeing a movie. All banal bullshit either way. He wondered why he was suddenly feeling this way. On his darkest days, she had always been his rock, a ray of sunshine bursting through even the thickest clouds, and yet, this conversation left him feeling... what was the word he was looking for? Annoyed?

"...so what do you think?" Emma finished.

"Yeah, sounds cool."

"Does it?"

"Em, I'm going to be honest. I have no idea what you were talking about. I wasn't listening."

"What?" It was her turn to sound annoyed. Or was that hurt?

"I'm sorry, Sweet Pea. I'm just really not feeling well."

"Is there anything I can do, Cuddlebug?"

"Don't call me Cuddlebug!" Jim snapped. Where was all this aggression coming from, he wondered. It was so unlike him. He took the opportunity to apologize before Emma could recover from her stunned silence and say anything. "I'm sorry. I don't know what – look, can we talk another time? I don't think I'm in the right state of mind for it, and I've got to go to the station anyway."

"Sure thing, Jimmy," said Emma with a resigned tone. "I'll speak to you later."

The pit in his stomach felt deeper than ever after finishing off the conversation like that. He regretted every word, and the more he dwelled on it, the worse he felt, but whether it was the guilt or something else that made him feel that way, he didn't know.