The Mind Virus

Chapter 19 - Part 2

"What was that?" Miller said, pounding two large beers down on the small table.

"Nothing, just talking to myself."

"You really are a strange egg."

"Yeah, I guess I am. Thanks for the beer."

"Think nothing of it." Miller paused for a moment, evidently wondering whether to say what was on his mind or not. "You were right, you know."

"I'm sorry, right about what?"

"The suicides. God, I wonder if I'm not damning you just by having this conversation with you."

Jim knew he was right. He'd known it all along. Even before he met Terry Howell – even before he'd accidentally infected himself with the very virus responsible for the deaths – Jim knew he was right. "I doubt you could damn me any more than I already am."

Miller looked at Jim's damaged hands. "I heard about that. I know it may be hard to look for silver linings in times like these, but at least they didn't try to kill you."

Jim eyed Miller suspiciously. "Are you in on any of this?"

"No, and believe me, if you knew what's been going on with me tonight, you wouldn't need to ask."

"That's the second time you've alluded to whatever's happened to you tonight. You clearly want to talk about it. Come on, don't be coy." Jim questioned whether he really cared about Miller's story, but he supposed his asking was less the result of truly caring and more the result of the alcohol lubricating his social skills.

"I met someone I hadn't seen in many, many years."

Jim waited for Miller to say more, but he only remained silent. "That's it?"

"And she tried to kill me."

"Oh, right. Yeah, I guess that's pretty intense. How did you get away?" The conversational whiplash left Jim unsure of whether Miller was being serious or just messing with him.

"She let me go."

"That's a bit anti-climatic, but I'm happy for you, I suppose. Did you say it was someone you knew?"

"I really shouldn't say any more. It's for your own sake. The less you know, the less likely they are to come after you..." Miller glanced down at Jim's hands. "...again."

"I don't think I can get any deeper down the rabbit hole," Jim said matter-of-factly.

"Believe me, you can. They haven't tried to rub you out yet. That's at least one step further away than I find myself."

Jim was now curious. "So what do you know about the suicides? I thought you weren't looking into them anymore."

"I wasn't. Haven't been for a while. I don't know shit about them."

"Then I suppose I'm ahead of you down the rabbit hole after all."

Miller looked up at him. "What do you know then?"

Over the next couple of rounds of beers, Jim brought Miller up to speed with most of what he knew about the suicides, the mysterious organization, and the virus. Whether it was from drunkenness or a newfound sense of trust in the man he had hated so much, Jim didn't know, but he believed him that he wasn't involved. There was only one issue that he hadn't brought up yet – the last issue that kept Jim a tiny bit suspicious of Miller.

"Can I ask you something?" Jim said.

"Shoot."

"Did you know any of the victims before they died?"

Miller glanced down at the ground as soon as Jim asked the question.

"You did, didn't you?" Jim pressed.

"Sweet Melinda. We hadn't been dating for long. I watched this 'virus,' as you call it, eat her up, and I couldn't do anything to help her. I didn't know. When she took her own life, I couldn't bear to look into it. Not that I thought that there was anything to look into at the time. The officer on scene, whoever it was, just wrote it up as a normal suicide – if you can call any suicide normal." He scoffed. "It wasn't until a few more piled up that it started sending ripples through the police. I was sent to investigate the last few. I was dreading the day when I'd have to speak to Melinda's family. I always got the impression that they never did like me much, what with the age difference between us and all. I felt like they'd blame me for her death somehow. Fortunately – and it takes a coward to say this – I was relieved when the powers that be pulled me off the cases."

"I'm very sorry," Jim said, not knowing how to approach the situation. Although he felt insensitive bringing it up, he had to know. "What about the other victims?"

"What about them?"

"Did you know any of them in the same capacity?"

"Are you asking whether I dated any of the victims other than Melinda?"

"I am."