The Mind Virus

Chapter 17 - Part 2

"I feel guilty about that, Jimmy. I really do. Do you want to know the truth?"

"Yes, I fucking do."

"I didn't think you had it in you to start investigating it all on your own, and I definitely didn't think you had it in you to get as far with it as you did – far enough to attract attention from the unsavory fellows that are pulling the strings at the department."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence, asshole. Are you glad I proved you wrong?"

"Why would I be glad? Do you think I wanted that to happen to you?" Roberts gestured to Jim's hands.

"I wonder."

Roberts' expression seemed to be sitting somewhere between a scolded child and a stern father-figure.

"So what's in it for you and Miller and all the other guys? Why are you on the payroll for these snakes? Or is that what this is about, the pay?"

"Miller's got nothing to do with it. He's as much of an outsider as you are. I'm just a cog in the machine, Jimmy. I get orders – I follow them. If you had the choice between going with the flow in exchange for a modest addition to your salary and having your life destroyed, I imagine you'd make the same move I did. Don't be taking any high roads now."

"You fucking disgust me. I don't know if I'm more disappointed that you took them up on their offer or that you think I would do the same."

"This finger pointing is futile. Besides, I'm not your enemy. Can't you see that I'm here to help you? And at great risk to myself, might I add."

"If you want to help me, then tell me what you know. My life depends on it."

"No it doesn't, Jimmy. This investigation is not your life. You can walk away from it. Leave it behind. You don't need this."

"You don't know much about it, do you? The weapon – they didn't tell you about it. Why would they? They don't want their secrets out, and like you said, you're just cogs in the machine."

"If you actually know what this thing is, then you're in far deeper than I could possibly have imagined. Believe me, this isn't something to be proud of. I don't know how you came by that information, but you do not want to fuck with these people. Don't you see it? These are dangerous people, Jimmy."

"Yeah, I gathered," Jim said, raising his cast-covered hands in the air.

"That?" Roberts scoffed. "That's peanuts compared to what they'd do to you if they decided you were too much of a liability. I'm beginning to feel like a broken record, but I'll say it again – let this case go. There's nothing more in it for you."

"I'm infected, Chris."

"Infected?"

"The weapon. The one causing all the suicides. I'm infected by it."

"What? How? No, wait, don't tell me. I don't want to know. The less I know, the better."

"I'm going to die if I don't find some sort of cure. That's why I can't let the investigation go. I need to find a way to reverse it."

"Jim, I'm serious, don't tell me anything more about how any of this works. I feel for you, I really do, and I wish I could help you, but I don't want to be involved in this. The cost is far too high."

"You already are involved in it."

"I'm only as involved as they allow me to be. Any further and I'm entering into dangerous territory."

"I'm glad you've chosen your loyalties wisely. What's the death of a friend compared to a few extra bucks in your bank account?"

"That's not fair, Jimmy. I didn't do this to you. I've been –"

"Trying to help me. Yeah, sure. Your friendship is a blessing."

"Man, fuck you! What more do you want from me? What more can I do for you? If I had a cure for whatever you're afflicted with, you know I'd give it to you in a heartbeat. I've said what I have to say. You're on your own from here on. Just remember that I can't always be there to protect you, and don't think that what you're doing isn't attracting the attention of the puppet masters. Actions have consequences, as you well know."

"Yeah, whatever." Jim was far too livid to be reasonable.

"I'll see myself out," Roberts huffed as he got up and went to the door.

"Don't let the door hit your deceitful ass on the way out," Jim called after him as he left the house.

Jim was left alone with his thoughts. So his very own police department was indeed infiltrated, and not only barely so either. The rot seemed to run deep. He needed to tell Terry Howell. What would come of that, he didn't know, but two heads are better than one. Maybe Howell knew more about the police infiltration than he said when they first met.

Dialing Howell's number with one thumb was a comically slow endeavor, but Jim managed. It rang. And rang and rang, and there was no answer. No matter, he would try again.

Throughout the rest of the afternoon and evening, Jim would try again and again to make contact with Terry Howell, but no answer would ever come. He was tired of it all. He was tired of this phone, of this house, of this case. Jim wanted only wanted to leave it all behind and do something different and new and spontaneous. In fact, he decided, he would do just that.