Another try to love [Kuroko no basuke fanfiction: AkaKuro]

¤Chapter 1: Memories

'We kissed. Kissed everytime we were alone. Just seeing his blushing face was enough to make me smile. When he was with me he was not visible and I was happy. I was always busy. Well, I was the captain of the basketball team and the student council president back then. Also the only son of the Akashi's family and that meant I had to be perfect. Perfect in everything. My grades were 100 percent in every subject and winning was granted. Only he. He was my creation, my work, my toy to play with - just mine, or so I thought. I wasn't invariably nice to him, or respected him as much as me, well for me he was naturally. And he hadn't cared much about it until one day. It was after the championship where our basketball team, him included, won. Every member of the basketball club played for themself. Team play? No, I hadn't cared about that. Just crushing the opponents and winning was important. After the game I talked with one of my team mates, Murasakibara Atsushi, about him. Atsushi was afraid that I would treat him bad. I laughed hard. "He's just a toy to pass time with. Did you think I care for him? Playing with him is fun so I do it but more?" Atsushi just shaked his head and went away. On the next day Tetsuya gave me his withdrawal document from the basketball club. "I really like you but I don't want to be played with. Good bye Akashi-kun." I stood there with my mouth open. Normally I would have stopped him or ordered him to take that back but his blank expression, his voice, his emotionless eyes, his unseen appearance were filled with pain, insecurity and dolorousness. I never had seen such a mien before. I only stood there, not possible to move a muscle and watched him leaving the gym and me forever. When I didn't see him anymore I broke down and began to cry. I didn't know until then that I liked him more than just as a 'toy'. That he was more for me than just a figure like anybody else. I didn't know that for my heart he was someone special. And when he was gone he had taken this little something with him and I was not able to get it back.

We saw each other in school a few times but he never looked at me again and became even more invisible to everyone than before. Like a ghost. Nobody noticed him anymore, only I, but he wasn't interested furthermore.

After this year, middle school was over and we became high school students. Every one of our basketball team went to different schools and we made a bet. That we would challenge each other with our new basketball teams to determine who is the best player. I don't know why but I had the feeling that he heard our conversation and smiled afterwards and it was true.

One and half year later it was time for the winter cup and he and his team, Seirin, beat all the previous members of our basketball team. We were in the finals against each other and there were only 41.4 seconds to play and my team lead by 7 points because of my 3-pointer but than a scream was heard from their side of the field. We all turned there and I could tell that a light blue light surrounded him. "Not this time Akashi. This time you're going to lose." were the only words I heard. The whole audience turned silent. Seirin, better said Kuroko, got the ball and made in no time a 3-pointer. His whole team stood there with opened mouths. Now I got the ball dribbled it to the right but in the same second he snatched the ball away from me and made a dunk - 2 points for Seirin. Another time it was my ball. I passed quickly to my team mates and we made it to their basket but then Tetsuya made a high screen, got the ball, dribbled to the three point line and shot in the last second a 3-pointer. Seirin won with a score of 106 to 105 and I lost the first time in my life in something. We thanked each other for the game but Tetsuya never looked at me directly. He just stood there invisible like before, celebrated by his team mates, with a light smile on his face. But the smile was not his smile I used to know. Not his happy smile I saw often when we were together, no, it was a strange smile. Condescending, revengeful. I had never seen him like that before. It was like the time when he gave me his withdravel document. I couldn't move a muscle and only stood there watching him until he was gone.

From this day on his team was unbeatable and successful til their graduation. On the last day of school I went to Tetsuya's high school to say sorry to him but he wasn't there. Tetsuya went a few days ago to Harvard University in the USA to study psychology I heard from his team mates when I asked them, but they wondered why he hadn't told me this himself. Kagami, his best friend, walked up to me and pressed me an envelope in my hands which was directed to me. "He gave me this, knowing you would show up sometime. I haven't read it, don't worry." I thanked him and walked away.'

My eyes shot wide open and it was dark in my room. I looked on my watch. 3:25. Again I had this dream. Again I saw him. Again his teary eyes appeared in my memory. Again his cold smile reached my heart and made a pain go through it. Again I felt his kiss on my lips, his gentle touch and my lost happiness. And again it made me realize that I was to blame that I lost it.

[A/N: Lately I read so many fanfics and dramas and really like them and jeah I got an idea. Don't worry I eill update my other book 'Just say I love you' soon. I am writing on a chapter right now ;) This story is with pain and lost and so on but hopefully a happy ending ;) anyway I hope you like it ;) Chiny]