ｆａｃｋ ~ ｌｏｖｅ ｉｓ ｌｏｖｅ

15 ~ ηιcк кησωs

Finn's POV

Empty.

That's how I felt all day. Nothing could cheer me up. Nothing could stop me from thinking about Jack.

"Hey... it's okay. You should have at least called me..."

"Just stop, Nick. It had nothing to do with you in the first place. I almost got caught. He can't come here. Do you know what his mother told him? Do you know it? He told him I only used him for sex! Ugh whatever just forget it. I just have to deal with never seeing him again." I ranted as a million thoughts were pushing each other in my brain.

"I wanted to-"

"Please don't ever try speaking with me about this. It's over, Nick. It didn't even last. His mom won't even let him out of the house. What am I supposed to do? Nothing." I said as I looked at my promise ring sparkling from the small amount of light getting through my window.

Nick sighed as he left my room. I felt so bad after all the things I told him. He only wanted to help and all he gets is nothing but words that describe disappointment.

I shook my head as I started laying on my bed, blankly staring at the ceiling trying to pop all of my thoughts from my head. Nothing worked.

I slowly got up trying to find something that would make me forget about everything that has been happening.

I started heading to the bathroom.

I looked with guilt in the mirror letting out a sigh. I looked down in the sink as I felt hopeless.

"Oh Jack..." I whispered squeezing my eyes shut. "I'm so sorry..."

I opened the cabinet searching for a blade as I couldn't take it anymore. I had to punish myself with something as I caused all of the shit I've put Jack in.

Once I found it, I examined the sharp object laying between my fingers. My heartbeat got faster as I moved it closer to my wrist.

"It's fair now" I said as I pushed the blade through my soft skin causing dark red liquid make its way down to my elbow. A burning sensation quickly interrupted my intense staring at the amount of blood laying on my wrist. My eyes widened at the feeling, pushing my hand under the cold water from the sink.

The blood wouldn't stop from leaking out of my cut. I wrapped a towel around my arm making big red spots on it.

"Finn?" Nick's confused voice was trying to earn an answer.

"Y-yeah" I quickly responded wanting to face palm myself.

"Can I come in?" he asked.

"Why?"

"I- ugh... I wanted to apologize" he answered.

"You don't have to apologize, it's okay" I said as I tightened the towel to my wrist.

"Oh okay... but sorry though" he left.

I sighed as the blood finally stopped. I turned around to look in the mirror, to look at the monster inside me doing whatever he wants to do.

I put a bandage on my wrist looking like I fell so no one would ask what happened. But it was the opposite.

"What did you do?" Nick asked with a frown.

"W-what? I- I-" I stuttered as I was trying to find a credible reason.

"I can't believe you cut yourself!" he spat with hurt in his eyes.

"I d-didn't cut myself intentionally. I actually tried cutting my hair and I accidentally cut my wrist, but it's fine. It's just a small scratch."

"Yeah yeah whatever. I warn you, if you cut yourself because of Jack, you should leave it. It's not worth it"

"What did-" I stopped myself by swallowing my words.

I nodded and I headed to my room. He watched me with concern in his eyes as he closed the door.

I grabbed my phone and texted Sophia. Only her I could tell what happened.

Soph

Me: i cut myself

Soph: what?

Me: i cut my wrist

Me: and Nick knows

Soph: why did u cut urself?

Me: isn't it obvious? Am i that bad at expressing things?

Soph: no but like why? jack is doing good and it's not your fault for making his mother get him. it's his mother tho. just accept it, she is gonna get bored of seeing him everyday like that so she'll let him see you. its going to be okay but please never cut yourself again.

Me: im sorry

Soph: u should tell that to yourself. bye

Me: i really am soph..

I looked at my arm seeing a slight shade of red get through the bandage.

"Why did I do that? What the fuck?" I yelled throwing my phone on the bed.

I guess missing someone and feeling like you're never going to see them again makes you hurt yourself without processing it, just like a piece of the puzzle is missing and it makes you so mad not finishing it. That's exactly how I feel. Jack is that one piece of puzzle that got lost and it takes ages to find it.

Everything happens with a reason, so I guess we weren't meant to be.