{happy endings?} ~ fiction.

3.

Astrid. Astrid. Astrid. Astrid. Astrid. Astrid. Astrid.
That's my name now. I mustn't forget it. I sat on my bed, the steel edges sticking out. I laid down on the bed, as the corridors of the facility were filled with screams and moans and cries and yells. "Where the birds fly and the rivers flow. The cornfield grew and found here were no friend or foe." I sang the words of the song that my mother use to sing. I was spacing out a little, but also regaining proper consciousness. My door opened and there stood the lady, who I had spoken to before. She wore a dull brown pant suit, her top button tied up tight, a bright red tie at her neck. Her dark hair was slicked back into a fairly long pony tail. I call her 'The Hound.' This is because she sniffs our your weaknesses and digs them up. She flaunts then in your face and makes you own them. I hated it. Which is why I always found my happy place.

"Fair faced Astrid?" She questioned, kneeling down by the door and looking up at me. "Is that your new name?" She continued. I sat up quickly. Her abruptly standing up too. "What is my name?" I asked her, my head stiffly turning to her. She smiled at me, cocking her head to the side. "Remember remember, the 5th of September." She said to me, whilst fixing her glasses. "What is my name?" I asked her. She repeated the same words. "My name!" I yelled, gripping the edges of the bed. She gave a laugh. "Back down, little girl." She spat out, leaving the room, slamming the door shut behind and locking it.

—————

It felt like forever, before my door opened again. A different guard standing there. I was awake again. The sedative had worn off. "Come on." He said, shrugging me to my feet, and dragging me along behind him, as we sped down the corridor. I looked up at him. Genuine sadness on his face. "Why so sad." I stated, looking back ahead of me. "How could you tell?" He chuckled, lightening his grip. "Your eyes." I told him, as we turned right, headed for the community hall again. He nodded. "Go inside." He spoke, beginning to close the doors behind me. I turned to him. "You've got at least half an hour." He smiled, then awkwardly looked away and closed the door.

I turned back towards the community room and saw Frankie. He waved, happily. I walked over to him, pulling the chair back, a loud screech coming from it. I sat down, opposite him, as we were sitting before. Except, it was just me and him in the room. "Hi." I spoke, gazing around. "Why am I here?" I asked, shifting in my seat. "Looks like the sedative wore off." He cackled. I nodded. "What's your name?" He questioned me, leaning back, fiddling with the cards. "Astrid." I told him. He smiled, wide. He sat there, smiling for a while. I gave a laugh, then began cackling too. His eyes lit up.

When I stopped, he leant forward. "Why am I here?" I repeated. "I wanted to see you.." He told me, scanning my face. I leant forward too, my arms crossed on top of the steel table. "Why?" I asked. He gave a smirk, standing up and walking over to me. He placed his hand on my face and angled it up towards him. The middle of my brows caved a little as I felt uncomfortable whilst he smiled. He leant down, and knelt at eye level. "You don't seem like a whacko." He told me, cocking his head to the left. I swallowed hard. I am. You just don't understand my crazy. I gave a smile, removing my face from his grip. "Hmm.." He said, standing up and taking his seat again.

"I'm friends with the guard." He told me, meaning the one who brought me here. "He's different?" I questioned. His eyes lit up again. "Yes." He confirmed. "He's not like the other guards. He's sad." I told Frankie. "Sad to be here.." I trailed. "Are you?" He spoke to me, Flicking a card between his fingers. I nodded, automatically. "Who's the other guard?" He asked me. I chuckled and shook my head. "Not telling?" He questioned, rocking on his chair. I blinked a few times. "He seems important to you?" He told me. "What was his name? Willow? Wilma?" He said, glancing up at me. "William." I quickly corrected him, regretting it moments later. "William." He nodded, a glint in his eye.

I licked my lips, as they began to dry. "Is he your favourite?" He grinned, copying my position on the table. I scanned his face and blinked once. "No, no." He smiled. "That's not it." He told me, spreading the cards out on the table. "You're his favourite." He spoke and pointed at me slightly, before settling into his seat again. I blinked again, my face emotionless. "Am I right?" He asked. "Of course I'm right!" He screeched with laughter. "Hmm.." I let out, with a sigh as I studied him. "Calm down." He squinted his eyes slightly, and looked at my hands. I was gripping on to the sides of the steel table. My skin reddening. I immediately released my grip on the table and put my hands in my lap.

He looked at me, kind of amazed. "Did you do that because I told you to? Or because you wanted to." He smiled, his white teeth, present. I stared at him again. It was silent for a while, us just staring at each other. "Do you like music?" He asked. I nodded. He reached to the side and clicked a button on a small radio. There was static for a few moments then a song played.

'I want to be forever young.
'Do you really want to live forever?
'Forever.
'And ever.'

'Forever young'
'I want to be forever young.
'Do you really want to live forever?'

The song continued, but only instruments played.

"Would you want to be forever young?" He questioned, gently rocking in his seat again. I shook my head no, softly. "Was your childhood that bad?" He smiled, leaning forward. I licked my lips as they dried again. "Nothing could be worse than this place.." He said, glancing out the barb wired windows, not much to see as it was night time. "I want to break free.." he said to me, turning his gaze back to me. If I encouraged the wrong idea, I would be punished, so I played dumb. "I want to break free.." I said back. He squinted slightly, studying me. "I want to break free from your lies...you're so self satisfied, I don't need you." I softly sang to him. "Hmm.." he smirked a little, his eyes still squinting every so often.

The corners of my mouth edged up into a smile. A smile of nothingness though. My expressions were merely answers people wanted. I couldn't feel. I was numb. My smile dropped and I sat there staring at him again. He clicked his neck from left to right, his large blue eyes remaining locked with mine. He reached over and turned the radio off. He blinked rapidly and fidgeted with the cards on the table again.

"I've fallen in love." He sang, in a whisper. "I've fallen in love for the first time." He continued, stacking the cards on one another. "And this time I know it's for real." He sang, closing his eyes, for a brief moment. "God knows.." I continued before he could. "God knows I've fallen in love." I said, taking a breath and then smiling. "I like you." He said, leaning forward, watching my body language and movement. I leant closer, our faces inches apart. "Why?" I demanded. He smiled. "You're not as crazy as you think you are." He told me. I smiled big, my eyes widened and hopefully my green eyes darkened, as my hands moved to his face. "You're right." I told him, placing my hands on either sides of his cheeks, as the bottom of my eye twitched. "I'm crazier." I growled at him.

He sat emotionless for a few seconds, then leant back out of my reach. "Welcome to the club." He whispered. There were four taps on the door. Tap. Tap. Tap. Tap. "Time to go." He said to me and nodded towards the door, as he folded his arms across his chest. The guard stood there, sort of shyly. I grit my teeth. "See you next meeting, Astrid." He purred, as the guard came over. I stood up and looked at Frankie. The left corner of my lip tugged upwards and I gave the smallest of smiles. It faded quickly as I shook my head, not understanding it. "Goodbye. Frankie." I said. The guard escorted me back to my padded room. "How was it?" He questioned me, unlocking the door. I stared blankly at him. He pressed his lips together and raised his eyebrows, avoiding eye contact, as in to say 'sorry I asked.'

"It was fine." I spoke, entering my room. "Same time tomorrow?" He asked me. I thought about it for a second, not really bothered if I saw Frankie again or not. I simply sat on my bed and started singing the song my mother used to sing to me.