{happy endings?} ~ fiction.

8.

I didn't want to be awake. But I didn't want to be in my safe/happy place either. I wanted to die. I didn't want to be here any more. And I knew my happy place would only last so long. I sat on the floor opposite the locked door. I cackled loudly, gripping my hair. I tugged several times, no pain though. I slammed my head into the side of the wall. Once. Twice. And a third time. No pain. I let out a screech and sat breathing heavy as blood trickled down my forehead and dripped from my eyelashes. "Dreaming of a world away from you." I sung softly, scratching my nails on the cold floor. "Where the clouds are soft and the air is free." I continued, nodding my head side to side, as the blood dripped onto my overalls. "My happy space is my freedom, that's the key." I made a new verse.

It felt like hours had passed. My nails had been almost shredded down to the minimum and the floor looked scratched up, stained with blood from my finger tips. The blood trickling from my forehead had stopped and dried. I heard keys jangling from the other side of the door. I twitched my left eye a few times as the door swung open. Henry stood there, concern on his face. I grit my teeth. Why can't I just be left alone! He came in and closed the door behind him. Locking it. I brought my legs to my chest as I began scratching the floor again. Henry put his hands in his pockets and sighed. "What have you done?" He asked. I grinned and raised my eyebrows quickly, as the floor beneath me started to feel wet, from the blood leaving the ends of my finger tips.

He stepped closer, removing his hands from his pockets. I knew what he wanted. He wanted what William had from me. Or took from me. Henry lent down in front of me, my lip quivering for a second. I collected my composure and stopped scratching the floor. Henry frowned and sat opposite me, about 5 feet in front. "I'll take my overalls off." I grinned and nodded, beginning to unbutton them. He shook his head, frantically. "No. No!" He spoke. He licked his lips as they looked dry. Was he nervous. He should be. I cackled. Loud. He took a few breaths and fidgeted with his fingers. I shrugged and stared at the ceiling. "Can I clean you up?" Henry asked me. I laughed, staring up at the ceiling still. "No." I growled.

I felt my blood begin to boil. I looked at Henry. My eye involuntarily twitching as I dug my bleeding nails into my palms. Henry looked like he was thinking. He then stood up, towering over me. "Get up?" He half questioned. I cackled. What a weakling. He swallowed hard and grit his teeth. I saw him nod to himself as I laughed. "Get. Up." He yelled. His demanding tone shook me. I stopped laughing and gulped. Was I scared? William didn't scare me so why was I scared of Henry. I nodded quickly and shot up. My head felt dizzy. Henry's hardened face faltered for a split second, to calmness, but returned as he nodded. "Follow me." He spoke, a rumble in his voice. "O. K." I stated. I followed him to the shower.

He towered over me. I snarled my lip at him as he gently removed the top half of my overalls. "I'm not going to do anything to you." He told me, as he removed my arm from the sleeve. I growled lowly. The shower felt dim, because Henry's large, muscular build was covering the entrance, which was the only source of light. He leant down a little, his Hazel eyes stayed connected with mine. He tied the sleeves of the overalls around my waist. Leaving me in my white vest and the overall trousers. There were blood splatters on my white vest, from the cut on the top of my forehead. Henry gulped. "Sit down." He told me. I did. I sat on the floor of the shower and watched as he grabbed my flannel which was provided by the facility. He turned on the tap at the sink and wet the flannel.

He then came back over and sat down next to me. My cheek twitched. I wasn't feeling anything now. I wasn't scared and I didn't feel like cackling or grinning ear to ear or destroying anything. He raised the flannel up to my head. This caused me to shift away and cower a little. His eyes remained fixated on mine as he nodded. He lifted the flannel again and I allowed him to. He gently wiped away the smeared blood on my forehead. I settled into my position. I was unable to remove my eyes from him. It helped me judge what he was going to do next. I don't understand his behaviour. I don't understand what he is doing. He didn't cause my injuries, so why was he cleaning me up? He glanced up at my forehead then back down at my eyes. "That's better." He mumbled. He stood up again and rinsed the cloth, and re-soaking it with warm water. He sat back down next to me.

He reached for my hands and I didn't move. I grit my teeth and stared at him. He gently wiped away the mass of blood that had accumulated on my hands and fingers. As he held my hand and stared down at them I felt something strange that I hadn't felt before. Not with anyone. I felt my happy place. I was ok. I felt calm and collected. I frowned, unsure of how he could do this. How did he have this power? Maybe he had a happy place too? Maybe I was crazier than I thought I was? I gripped onto Henry's hand. A surprised expression on his face. I tightened my grip. A smile spread across my face. The bigger my smile got the nastier it became. I continued gripping him, digging my shredded down nails into his skin. He frowned, then tried to flinch his hand away.

"Astrid." He sighed as I remained gripped onto him. "Let go." He explained, trying to rip his hand away. I gripped onto his arm with my other hand, refusing to let go. Trying to settle my nails into his skin. He struggled with me, trying to wrangle me from himself. He wasn't trying hard enough. He wasn't using any force to remove me from him. "Go on." I snarled, saliva forming around my lips, making me looked craze as it dripped from my bottom lip. He looked confused and he also looked like he was now in pain. "Smack me." I howled. I put more pressure on the nails, feeling them already sunken into the top of his arm and hand. "Make me stop." I roared. He shoved me with more force now, making me jolt back a little. "All you got?" I teased him, followed by a laugh. Then he stopped. He stopped struggling. He stopped moving. He stopped trying. "Give it your best." Henry started, his arm sort of shaking. "But I'm not laying a finger on you." He spoke.

I snarled my lips up and frowned. I felt a rage flow through me. I ripped my hands away from him and shuffled into the corner. Henry gripped his arm a little then let it dangle down by his side, blood dripping down his hands and fingers. I brought my knees to my chest and looked at him. Why did I do that? Why did I hurt him? I didn't want to...did I? I stared at Henry, my mouth slightly parted as I didn't know what to say or even do. My hands were shaking as they were stained with his blood. "I'm..I'm going now." Henry nodded and stood up. My eyes stayed plastered on him as he got to the door of the bathroom and turned to me. "I'm only trying to help you." He spoke. "Frankie is trying to help too." He nodded.

I closed my eyes, still feeling Henry's presences. "A world away from you." I sang. I clenched my eyes closed and flashes of yellow shone in my vision. "Dreaming of a world away from you." I whispered. The yellow sun shone bright in front of me, squawks were heard over head and the sound of waves slowly lapping on the shore were heard. I laughed, happy. I twirled around, feeling the tiny grains of sand between my toes and the smell of the sea lingered. I could almost taste the salty water as I neared the edge of the waterbed. I grinned and laid down in the sand. I spread my arms and legs back and forth creating sand angels. "Salty seas and birds so high." I chanted. "Blue water as far as I can see with my eye." I sang loudly.

I was in my happy place and it felt amazing. I felt free and safe and like there was not a care in the world. I sat up and glanced around. Startled. He stood there now. Hands in his pockets. A small smile on his face. "What." I stated, confused and the feeling of happiness leaving me, as the sky blackened and the waves began to speed up, crashing against the section it met with the land. I stood up in a panic, the once white seagulls dropped dead to the sandy surface around me, blackened. "How?" I cried. Falling to my knees I whimpered. Henry stood there, in my happy place. In my mind. He stood there, a bright aura around him of blue and white, almost outshining the death that had now infected my happy place. How did he get here? How is he in my happy place? Why? I need answers. He simply stood there, the same smile not leaving his face. I allowed the darkness to swallow him as I grew angry and full of rage.

I gasped and opened my eyes, being greeted with a now empty room. How did Henry make it into my happy place.