It's The Mirror

why

That night I stayed up. I couldnt sleep with so Much on my mind. I never thought it wouldve ended this way. If someone would've told me this would happen i wouldve holded her tighter than i ever did before. i would've kissed her like it was the last thing i was going to do. I wouldve made every day count.

I really wish she wasnt gone. If she saw the way i was right now, i know she would be mad at me. I know i cant move on, but i have to. no.. no. i dont.

Whose telling me that i have to let go of the love of my life.. 

My world has gone completely blank every since she left. And maybe i should start living life again but how. if everything i look at reminds me of her. I cant go back to playing soccer that'll just remind me of how she would be in the stands yelling and screaming to cheer me on. oh how i miss her smile and gorgeous eyes..

I really cant do this to myself any longer. 

why am i talking to myself..

damn it..

I know what im going to do now.

i turned around in my bed and shut off the lamp. 

Next morning 

"Mom can i talk to you for a minute?' I asked as i sat down on the kitchen counter. 

"of course sweetie. whats up"

" well ive decided that i am giong to move on, and i need your help with what ive decided to do.. I want to move to Rome.."  she cut me off. "hold on.. your not going to Rome Austin."

"But mom, i have to. Im officially an adult now and i want to move somewhere i can actually walk outside without bursting into tears because everything reminds me of my ex girlfriend. no mom i cant stay here any longer. I'm sorry but i cant. And i dont know what ill do there, maybe ill just get a job and rent an apartment with someone. i really dont know mom. but what i do know is that i need to get out of here please you have to let me go."

" then i'll come with you" "mom no.." "then your not going anywhere"

"i love you mom but i dont think it would be such a great idea. you have established yourself here with everyone, you have friends, and what about dad? your job that you worked so hard to get to the top. come on. im not letting you let go of all of that"

"and what makes you think that I'll let go of my most priced possesion." "this was going to happen eventually, and ill promise i'll call every night until you finally realize that i am okay. This will be good for me i promise"

"okay..." "okay? are you serious?" "yes austin. I'm serious. i know you wont always stay with me and i cant have you acting the way you do any longer. Ill give you a couple thousand dollars so you can establish yourself in your new home, but do you promise to call me everynight ?" 

"i promise" i smiled. 

"okay then pack your stuff.. your going to Rome"