We The Outsiders (Poem- Short-Story)

The Other Side Of Popular

My name is Lina and I know how it feels to not fit in.

I have watched Sophie and Edward peering out at me through the window. Only a pane of glass separates us. The supposedly good students are outside here in the schoolyard and the detention hall students are indoors- away from us, I never quite knew why that was.

But I saw the two of them every lunchtime in the detention hall sitting on graffiti covered plastic chairs mouthing words I would never hear, or understand. I was in another world of 'A plusses', ballet and swimming lessons. I was the student going to 'make it' and collect a high degree of some sort and make my parents proud. The teachers saw me as the one most likely to succeed. If only I could believe that for myself, instead I find myself peering in wanting to be someone else.

I saw Edward and Sophie around the halls of school still laughing and still chatting to each other as the weeks went by. It was like a club of their own, without rules and I badly wanted to know how to get in. Maybe I ached to be like them, but instead I hanged with the guys and girls with big personalities and fragile egos to match and I tried to convince myself it was where I belonged. I was kidding myself.

Then jealously stepped in and took over my heart slowly, like mould all at once and it started to spread and feed off me. I began to plan how to break down their unbreakable bond. If I couldn't join them I could definitely break them down I figured.

So I saw the chance and I took it, Sophie alone without Edward, perfect opportunity and a wonderful moment. She was looking confident and cool and I had to take that piece of her down. So I did the thing I knew she wanted; I invited her to hang with the popular kids, to be one of us. She could be like us for a while and then I'd throw her out, we all would ditch her, we would all make her see what she could never be. Then Edward and Sophie's friendship will fall apart and crunch down.

The thing is, she'll never be one of us, as I could never be like them. I wear a short skirt and designer t-shirt, while she can where geeky glasses and still look cute and she can wear sneakers and still be comfortable. I am stuck here in a world of expectations from everyone.

I am excited to see her crash down, to see her fire burn out, for her to realise she will never be popular like I am.

Deceiving Sophie was too easy, she came so willingly and I took pleasure in her weakness. She embraced me quickly when I offered to make her over. By the following Monday, when she returned to school we'd hang with the cool guys and beautiful girls. She would be like one of us for a while. I smile on the inside and laugh to myself. She's too willing to play this part and I am too willing to hurt her. I feel better.

Maybe, when it's all over and she understands this for herself she'll stop trying to be like me and not try to be popular. Maybe I could start to be more like her; an outsider, an unusual one. This is the other side of popularity the outside kids never know.