maid in the am

9.

The murmur of the boring golf channel announcer sounds as I sit there intently focusing on it. I know he loves golf, but I could honestly care less. The only reason I'm focusing on it right now is because Niall has really pissed me off, whether he knows it or not. I know that he's purposefully trying to fluster me, he thinks it's all fun and games. I'm confused, however, because he is actually so sweet I don't know where this devious mean streak comes from. Unless, he's not doing it on purpose? But that makes no sense to me, why would he be doing it otherwise. God, I can't be left to my thoughts like this so much, it really fucks my head up. It feels like it's been ages, so I turn around and glance at the clock perched on Niall's nightstand. It's been 15 minutes. Only 15 fucking minutes, you've got to be kidding me. We still have an hour and forty five minutes left trapped in this room together! And to top it off, when I looked back at the clock I accidentally made eye contact with Niall too. Now he probably thinks I want to talk, and he is probably going to make me look like an idiot. I decide to break the silence before he can. I rack my brain for something that I can say that would be beneficial to me. I blurt out, "Do you need anything in here cleaned?" I turn to face him, and he looks like he's got a real dilemma going on internally. I continue, "it's ok, it's my job remember?" And at that, it's looks like he's made a choice. He replies, "Sorry, I just like things a very particular way so you don't have to clean in here." God, why does he want me to suffer. I am kind of annoyed, so I say kind of authoritatively, "Niall we still have like 2 hours left in here, it's my job, and I'm bored out of my mind. You can just teach me the way you do it and how you like things. At least it'll kill the time quickly." I study his face as he responds, "Ok fine. But you have to do it my way, and no making fun of some of the weird stuff I do." He genuinely seems to think I'm going to judge him, but I honestly just need to do something before my brain explodes. "I guess we can start in the closet, I have some clothes to fold and put away. I can teach you how I like it organized" he says while standing up. I follow him over to the closet, and pretend I'm shocked at it even though I snooped before he got here. He leads me over to the corner and pulls out a large hamper, one side is full of clean clothes and the other has just a few articles of dirty laundry in it. He brings it over to the middle of the room and dumps it. "Ok, so when I fold my clothes, I put them all here then fold them into little piles. Unless they need to be hung up. I hang all pants that aren't jeans, and all shirts that aren't made of cotton. So jeans, and t shirts get folded and go into drawers by color. I also like my socks balled up. Except for my dress socks, they get folded and put in a separate drawer. I like my underwear folded over only once, and I always fold them to the left. They also go in a drawer arranged in color order. I know it's kind of a lot but having it any other way just makes me crazy" he rambles on. I just reply saying "Its ok, you just like it a very certain way I understand that. Don't worry." I smile at him as he looks a little relieved. He starts in on the folding, and I jump in as well. We finish it, and then start to put it away. He directs me, but soon enough I'm doing it correctly. That's one thing about me, I have always learned a lot quicker than most. This was nice, but it only ate up a small chunk of time. "Does the bathroom need to be cleaned?" I ask hoping he'll say yes. He says, "Oh no, it's ok for now, I don't really do anything special to clean bathrooms either. So however you want to do them is fine." He gets up, and goes back into the main room. I follow him and watch as he plops back onto his bed. I stand there for a moment, but decide to sit down on the bed also, just so I can have a back rest, plus, it's large enough that there's still a good amount of space between us. I am kinda bummed because I wanted to do something other than sit in uncomfortable silence. "Where are you from?" Niall blurts, breaking the silence I was hating so much. He looks at me, waiting for my response. I decide it won't hurt to tell him a little about myself, and say, "I'm from a place called Boring, Oregon and it really does live up to the name. That's why I moved here," I pause then decide to deflect and question him, "Why do you even want to know?" He looks a little hurt, but recovers and answers my question. "I just like to get to know the people I work around. I know it may be hard to believe because of how my life has played out, but I am just a person." I see in his face an emotion almost resembling shame. His life is hard, and I haven't really been very nice. "Oh yeah, I'm sorry, I just guess I'm used to being pretty guarded" I say, which is true, but I want to make him feel better. He smiles, and looks genuinely relieved that I'm being nice. He then asks me, "Why did you decide to move here of all places?" I ponder his question for a little bit, contemplating how much I want to tell him. Do I trust him? I think I do, but at the same time how much can I trust him? I've only just met him this morning, but it feels like I've known him my whole life. I can't keep him waiting any longer, but decide to give him the bare minimum. I say, "I moved here for the opportunities I guess. To leave my old life behind, I wasn't happy so I did something about it. I'm sure you can relate..." I smile sheepishly. He looks back at me, with a bit of longing in his eyes. He replies, "Yeah, I did do that I suppose. I miss my home though, sometimes I really do miss my old life. Just being able to talk to people without them freaking out. I mean I wouldn't trade in my life for anything, I love it, and the best friends I've made from it have been incredible. But I do miss home. Do you miss yours?" I don't know what to say to that. Do I miss the place that I associate with every bad person and thing that's happened to me? Truthfully no. Do I trust him enough to get into why I don't? Absolutely not. I lie, and tell him, "I guess I do some days." He looks at me, and I feel like he knows I'm lying. I'm not the most convincing liar, but I manage. It's like he sees right through me, but he knows not to push it. I'm grateful for this as he just nods and smiles at me. He says, "Ya know, this is one of the best days in this house I've had in a while. You make me feel normal, like I could just be back at home. So thank you." I look at him, just studying his face, and a new silence has fallen over the room. Only this one isn't uncomfortable, it's loaded, full of the tension of a million unasked questions. It's the type of silence you long for, because it excites you, but makes you feel at peace. It's a silence of anticipation. He looks back at me. His eyes are so beautiful, so blue, so full of an uncontrollable desire for life. Mine must be so dull in comparison, a normal brown color. But he still looks at me like I'm the most important thing in the world right now. It's in this moment when I realize how close we've gotten, I could reach out and touch him if I wanted to. I don't even know how this happened, but I just feel so comfortable with him. He takes a sharp breath in, and I can see conflict in his face, he just stares at me. His lips slightly part, and I swear he's going to kiss me. I can feel my heart beating in my palms. My mind then shifts back to the moments of earlier today, he's just trying to get me flustered again. I know it, but why does he look so serious? Why do his eyes convey nothing but longing? Why does my body betray me, and scoot closer to him? His eyes flick from my lips to meet mine, and I can see the want in them, mixed with a genuine look of authenticity. He starts to get closer, and my eyes close. Then the phone rings.