Serenity

Forget

Zalmai's hands trembled, he knew for as long as he lived he would never forget the events of last night. He would never forget Sakina's tear streaked face, her eyes wild with terror and denial, her desperate screams. The image of the lifeless child would not leave his mind, was it so bad that he did not want to see his own child? The way his stomach turned every time his fingers brushed against the cold limbs. The way his heart felt as though it would suddenly burst when he had returned without it. He didn't even know if it had been male or female.

As he watched the hysterical girl who refused to accept reality his mind could only come up with one plan. The healer was not pleased with his plan at all.

'You think you are helping her Sardaar but in reality you are damaging her, this is not healthy, let her deal with the grief and come to terms with the loss'

'Sakina will never get over the grief, brew a drought and put her to sleep and when she wakes up I will tell her she hit her head and imagined it all'

The old woman shook her head as she prepared the drought, he held the struggling girl and made her drink the brew. Even in her sleep she twitched and trembled.

'It is a great loss, you should have been more careful Sardaar'

He turned on the healer, his patience snapping 'It was my fault was it?! It was just fate'

The woman shook her head 'The child had been dead for a while, this was not a coincidence. I have attended many births like these, acacia, that is what caused this. The Bibi has an enemy, a dangerous one, you have a traitor in your own house and you don't even know it'

'No one in my house would be cruel enough to do such a thing'

'You have to accept there is someone and because of that person your daughter was not given the chance to live'

Daughter. He had a daughter, had he corrected himself now she was just a memory now and he had to forget about her. The Danaii girl had lost all colour, her skin a stark white against the ebony of her hair. He wished he did not have to resort to such means, but he cared for her too much to see her in grief.

He could not contain his emotions no matter how hard he tried, his tears were enough to rival an ocean and the chaos in his heart enough to rival all its storms. He could never understand the things he couldn't see, he could not explain the way his heart stilled and raged all at once inside his great chest, why he felt so empty yet carried such a burden he could hardly breathe. He was relived the proud Danaii Khayl was not awake to witness this weakness of his and he was crushed because only she could relate to this pain he felt.

He vowed the one who had caused this would be brought to justice even if it was the dearest person to him, he did not hold anyone more dear than the child he had briefly carried. As his eyes closed he wished there was a brew to make him forget the events of this day.