Beauty in Everything

Chapter 17

^Wednesday January 11th 2017^

Pearl and Garnet had gone on a second date that has gone equally as well as the first. The date consisting of an in bed picnic and cake samples rather than ice cream. They'd given her four radiation treatments and she was really feeling the weight of it. She was tired even more now than when they were doing the chemo, less sick, but to tired to do anything.
Today they would be taking new scans to check the growth of the tumor.
"Hey, you ready to go?" Sapphire asked as she walked into the room with a wheelchair.
Pearl didn't answer, she just pushed her blankets off and slowly stood from the chair she was seated in. She stumbled slightly, but Blanche grabbed her arm to steady her.
"Are you feeling alright?" Blanche asked as she led Pearl to the wheelchair and settled her down.
"I'm just tired... can you hand me that blanket?" She asked quietly, gesturing to the blanket on the chair she had been sitting in. Her mother nodded silently and folding the purple and teal blanket it half before laying over her legs so it wouldn't drag on the ground.
"I have a good feeling about this scan Pearl." Sapphire said with certainty.
Pearl just stayed silent, watching.
When they got to the MRI machine Sapphire moved to help Pearl onto the bed but Pearl pushed her hands away and stood herself, making her way to the bed and laying down slowly.
"Ok I'm going to strap you in and you let me know by pressing the panic button if you need to stop, but try not to because we will have to start over again." The MRI tech explained then left the room.
X
"So I looked over your scans." Dr M said as she entered the room after Pearl had been brought back and settled in.
Blanche leaned forward and let her focus settle on the older Doctor.
"How did they look?" She asked in her stern voice.
"They looked really good, the tumor has definitely shrunk, now we could continue with the chemo and radiation doses. But I believe that if we wanted to we could get the whole tumor out, in surgery." Dr M said, looking and Pearl and pausing, waiting for the girls input.
"How risky is the surgery?" She asked finally, and Blanche looked at her daughter. She didn't sound excited that the tumor shrunk, not at all.
"Well every surgery has its risks, but I really believe that the surgeon would be able to get the whole thing." She said. "I know some really amazing surgeons and they would probably do a wide local incision-"
"What's the percent risk of something going wrong? What if something happens and I bleed out? Or if they do something to my leg and I never dance again?" Pearl asked.
Dr M looked to Blanche, and then back to Pearl. "There would be about a 20% chance of anything like that happening."
"That a lot of percentage to risk on." Pearl said, monotoned, her face giving no hint of her feelings.
"But it's an 80% chance of being cancer free and not feeling sick anymore!" Blanche said. She stood and walked to Pearls side, grabbed her hand tightly.
"Pearl, you are so sick, and so tired, most days you just sit here, I want you to have a life, I want you to dance again." She pleaded.
"And what if I die." She said flatly. "Then I never dance again."
Blanche looked horrified, "Y-you aren't going to die..."
"But if the chemo and radiation are working, if it's getting smaller now, why not just let it keep going?" Pearl asked, she looked deep into her mothers eyes and right into her soul, she had somebody, and she had a family and friends, and she didn't want to risk losing all of that because some surgeon fucked up.
"But what about your quality of life Pearl..." Blanche nearly begged. "You're miserable, you hardly feel like getting out of bed most days." She tried to convince the girl.
"Maybe..." she conceded finally. "Do I have to decide today?" She asked Dr M.
"No you think about it, talk to your mom, and let me know, I will have a consult with an orthopedic surgeon I know, who I trust, and see what she thinks as well."
Dr. M left them, leaving Blanche and Pearl alone.
"P-" Blanche started but pearl interrupted her.
"I'm just not sure yet mom, I understand why you want me to but you have to understand that I'm scared, I have you and I have Garnet and Ame and sky and I just..." she trailed off.
"I understand pearl... and I'm here, no matter what you choose. Or if you want to talk..." she said, kissing her daughter on her birthmark.
X
^Thursday January 12th 2017^

Blanche had gone into work that day, and Blue was due to come in and stay with Pearl around noon, but until then, Pearl was alone.
She had continued to think about her choices.
Risk the surgery- pro, lives without cancer. Con- dies.
Continue with chemo and radiation- pro, probably doesn't die right now. Con- will be miserable and useless.
She thought maybe she'd take a vote. See who was rooting for what. Than she decided that wouldn't be a good idea. She needed to make this decision on her own, she couldn't put that responsibility on anyone else. But maybe she could ask one opinion... just one...
She pulled out her phone and opened a new message.
To: Garnet❤️
Hey you at the hospital today?
She waited patiently for a response. Reviving one only moments later
From: Garnet❤️
Yes what's up? You ok?
To: Garnet❤️
I'm fine just wanted to talk to you, can you come up?

She didn't get a response just a knock at her door five minutes later. She called for them to come on in and the door opened, revealing the tall darker woman.
"Hey, sorry I wouldn't been here faster, but I was with I kid." Pearl smiled at her and patted the bed. Garnet sat down and waited for Pearl to speak.