Hi all!
I recently began talking to my mother again, because I felt so guilty for not having as much love for her or my father as I would want.
She revealed that when I was around 1 or 2, she started seeing another man, and when my father gave her money to go to school, she'd use it to see her side peice instead. There would be no one there to watch me, so I would sit in my diaper hungry and soiled, crying for hours. My father found out eventually, but then he too felt as if he was too young, so I went to live with my grandparents.
The reason that I don't feel much love for or from my parents is because I am a high risk case of neglect: I'm traumatized by an event I can't remember. I don't like being dirty, and I feel especially nauseous when hungry. I have a hard time coping when someone important leaves me.
Thank you all for your understanding and your support on my previous post. I'm sorry that I'm not posting as regularly, but things are much worst than I imagine, so it's hard for me to set a scene as it should be, and not make it too depressing.
I'm sorry.
