The Need to Become Fearless

"Don't let fear of what could happen not allow anything to happen."

"So... did you have a nice time, er, trip?"

Mark sits  next to me, gaze transfixed on the passing scenery, just as quiet as I am. I've tried a few times to break the ice, and so has he, but there's just too much tension.  Our last conversation was... heated, to say the least, and in my lust filled haze, I made quite a few promises. Promises that I'm not sure I can live up to. Maybe I over sold myself? I'd already blown the whole "fucking you as soon as I see you," thing, with a quick peck to the cheek and booking it back to my car.

"It was good. Parts of it were really good. But you know that, don't you?" He chuckles, hand snaking it's way to my thigh and giving it a quick squeeze. I can't help the yelp that it draws from me, and his velvety laughter rings loudly in my ears.

I just need to try my best not to fall apart into complete panic before I get back to my house. The kiddie pool was already bought and in the backyard, and after we worked on his phobia, we'd be heading over to some little spot He was going on about that had a hill that we could climb. How the hell is he so fucking calm?

"Jack," he says slowly, looking at me with the type of concern that is incredibly warranted. "Is everything all right?"

"Fine," I say back, much louder than I meant. "Just eager to get started on working on the fears is all."

I hitch a smile on my face that must not not like much of one. The concern in his gorgeous brown eyes grows.

We get to my house in what feels like an actual lifetime, and I leap out of the car like I've been electrocuted.

"We can try the baby steps some other time, if it's a bit too much for you."

"No, I'm fine," I reply back while I fumble for my keys to open the front door. "But maybe a drink beforehand would do me good, huh?"

He agrees a little too quickly for me to think I was acting like anything but a bundle of nerves at this point. I couldn't tell if it was the sexual tension, the fear of the hill later on, or I was having some sort of fucking nervous breakdown at this point. I lock the front door behind us and turn around. He looks almost too sexy in his pilot uniform.

"So, about that drink," I start, as he moves closer to me. "Would you like - "

My words were cut off by his lips as he pinned me to the front door. I groan into his mouth as my eyes roll back on my head, and feel his strong hands taking a hold of my wrists.

They're pinned above my head in a flash, and for a moment I think about letting him continue with this little charade, but I promised him dominance, and that's what his going to get. His mouth is hot on mine, and as his lips intermingle with mine, I take the opportunity to bite down, not gently, but not terribly hard either. He jumps back with a start and I'm released, ready to take control.

"Get on the couch," I tell him firmly, and he all too eager, scampering over and waiting patiently.

I take my time walking to him, grinning slyly as I wait right in front of him, and tangle my fingers in his messy locks. The grip is gentle at first, loving, almost, but that's not what he wants. The grip turns from soothing to tight and I pull his head back and stand over him, losing as slowly as I can manage to whisper in his ear.

"I'm gonna fuck you so fucking hard that you can't even remember your name when I'm done. But you won't forget mine, because you're gonna be screaming it until you can't speak anymore."

He groans, then began to unbuckle his belt and take down his pants. I can't believe how into this he is, but then I remembered our sexting. This is definitely a kink. I almost want to laugh at how quickly he just is into this. I almost laugh at how quickly I got into this.

"Where do you want me?" he whispers, his brown eyes slightly glassy as he looks up and starts to pull off his tie.

"Hands and knees, facing away from me, gorgeous."

He leans over the back of the couch, pants still up but open and lose, waiting for me to tear them off. And I'm almost ready to, but I want to tease him a bit more, remembering that he's in to edging, so he likes to take his time.

I press my chest to his back, kissing at the side of his neck until he's a panting mess. My mouth moves from his neck and down to just where his shoulder begins, pulling his suit jacket off as I go. His buttons are a bit harder to work open from thin angle, but I'd be able to move mountains to get to him if I needed to. As soon as the skin is exposed, I sink my teeth into tanned flesh and the noise that leaves his perfect lips is so high pitched that it's almost unreal.

"God, you're so fuckin' sexy, Mark. You're gonna take it. You're gonna fucking take it all and you're gonna thank me for it, do you understand me?"

He's trembling at my words as he nods his head up and down, almost frantically. I grab at his ass cheeks and it's just as firm and smooth as I imagined it. The noises that are escaping his mouth should be played in every porno, no matter the genre. This can't be real that he wants me. That he's making such amazing sounds just for me.

I lick my index and middle fingers and slowly press inside of his entrance. He roars out something between a guttural groan and a slur of curse words that would make anyone blush.

"May I see your face, Jack? Please?"

I pause at how sweet the request is, and something about it makes my heart flutter. I pull my fingers out and he whines low pitched and turns to look back at me, biting his bottom lip. Jesus Christ I may not make it to the actual sex if he keeps looking at me like that.

"Yes, of course you can. Turn over onto your back, babe."

He does what he's told and I get a good look at his abs and chest again. His hard length is laying against his stomach, and I crawl on top of him for a very long kiss.

"Jack, you're just so perfect. So sweet..." the dewey look in his eyes tugs at something inside of me, and flips a switch completely. Here I am, saying filthy things to him...

"Mark, I can't do this." I sit back on my knees and try to readjust myself to somewhat of a decent state.

"Did I do something wrong?" He sits up quickly with worry creasing his brow and pulling his perfect flushed lips to a frown.

"No, baby. No. You didn't at all. It's just... I think we're a little caught up in the heat of the moment, don't you? Don't you think our first time should be something really special? Not me bending you over the back of my couch like a whore. You should be wined and dined first. We should... I don't know, make love before we fuck?" I ring my hands in my lap, hoping, praying that he understands and doesn't feel too rejected.

"Yeah," he replies back, pushing himself onto his elbows. "You're right. I guess I got just got ahead of myself and all. It's just...that time with us going back and forth on the plane...it really got me worked up something fierce."

"Oh believe me, I'm right there with you."

He starts to pull his pants back on all the way, but I grab at his hands. He looks up at me, slightly confused.

"Hey, just because we aren't making love yet doesn't mean that I can't still do a little something just for you before we go on our "baby steps" date.