Fifty-Two Weeks

nine

Scarlett

"When we seek to destroy others we often hurt ourselves, because it is the self that wants to be destroyed."

I didn't want to destroy Ashton, I couldn't destroy him. He made a mistake, one that I wouldn't forgive with a simple flash of his puppy dog eyes. I had been tossing and turning all night trying to come up with the correct way to approach this, ultimately deciding on letting him tell me first. If he didn't come clean during our Skype date tonight, I'd call him out on it.

I rolled over and glanced at my alarm clock; 6:26am. Once upon a time I would've mocked the energetic people who got up at this time for fun, but now it seemed like my new reality.

"Bright and early huh buddy?" I smiled, tracing patterns on my abdomen with my fingertips. As much as I tried to push Ashton from my thoughts I couldn't help but feel guilty. He should be here with me, enjoying the first moments of our child's life.

I stretched my arms wide, enjoying the relief it gave my joints, and swung my legs over the side of my bed. The summer was quickly approaching which largely impacted my outfit. It was too hot for my usual leggings and hoodie apparel so today I settled for white shorts with one of Ashton's shirts tucked into the waist. I couldn't be bothered with makeup and left my hair in the messy braid I fell asleep in.

I checked the clock once more before heading into the kitchen for breakfast; 6:48am. My shift at the gym wasn't for another hour or so, leaving me plenty of time to fill my stomach and lounge about.

---

"Miss Pierce, can you help me with my ariel?" Jenna, one of our most talented gymnasts begged. Having favourites was frowned upon and no matter how hard I tried to follow that rule, I would always have a soft spot for Jenna. Her mouse brown hair was pulled tight in a bun and her caramel eyes melted my heart.

"Of course, what do you need help with?"

"I know what I'm supposed to do, and I know how I'm supposed to do it, but I just can't get it right. Could you show me the proper way?" She pleaded. I've done ariels more times than I could remember but I didn't want to risk falling and hurting the tiny life form inside.

"I'm rather sore today, what if Amanda helped you?" I lied, but the mention of her name brought Amanda, another gym leader, over. Jenna quickly explained what she needed and Amanda had no trouble helping her. I sighed in defeat, what good was I if I couldn't even help my girls?

---

4:07pm

To: Jess the Mess

Just stopping in at the grocery store, do we need anything?

4:10pm

From: Jess the Mess

You demolished the last bag of cheetos so get more of those. Other than that I think we just need more berries and milk :)

I scribbled down 'cheetos, berries, milk' onto my already numerous list of groceries we needed. I loved cooking healthy meals and exploring clean alternatives but lately I had been giving in to my cravings more and more. I decided to put an end to it, except for the cheetos of course, and buy only healthy things.

I grabbed a basket as I entered the store and made my way around the produce section, stocking up on berries and bananas. Next came the bakery where I found crisp fresh baguettes. Then came the meat, followed by dairy, and ending with the chip aisle. I used most of my restraint and only grabbed one bag of the delectable cheesy munchies.