Last of all

We need a battle plan

That weekend, I was staying over at Char's place because my Father was at a conference in England. The entire drive to her house, she talked non stop about her new boyfriend, Jason. When we got to her place I made her promise not to mention Jason for the rest of the weekend because this was a girls weekend. Really, I only said that because in all honesty, I was jealous. Imagine that, me, the great Quincey, jealous of my best friend? What low regions of Dante's hell had I come to?

In the end she didn't care that we didn't talk about Jason, probably because we talked about everything else. From Laurel Mcguiver's new slutty style, to Patrick Newman's latest prank.

*FYI he filled the teacher's lounge couches with whoopee cushions, then filmed the whole she-bang.

Eventually she changed the subject to my lack of male attentions.

"Okay Quincey, being you obviously hasn't gotten you any where, we need a battle plan or this isn't going to work."

Did I mention that Char has a bit of inner geek? Probably not.

"Obviously you already have one in mind so spill. How are we going to make someone like me?"

"I reckon we should try a different tactic each week until someone asks you on a date-"

"-I get the feeling you've been thinking about this a lot longer than you've let on, you probably already have a chart drawn up." I mumble with a hint of sarcasm.

"You know me so well. Obviously I have a chart prepared coz this is gonna take a few shots."

"Of course you do."

With a flick of her wrist, she pulled from under her bed, a whiteboard with a week by week chart.

Week one Plain jane

Week two Sport crazy

Week three OTT bright and bubbly

Week four Serious

Week five Humorous (prankster)

Week six Nerdy/geek

Week seven Emotionally constipated

Week eight Musician

Week nine Girly girl

"So according to your chart, next week I'm going to be sport crazy, how am I gong to do that if I can't even walk straight without tripping over my own feet?"

"You don't actually have to play sport, you just have to act like you're into a sport."

"Like what? The closest thing I've got to sports that Michael Jordan bobble head I got in year six Kris Kringle."

"Just try to change the subject to sport when ever you are having a conversation. Like now for example, you could ask me about the current AFL ladder or how the men's hockey team is going in the commonwealth games."

"But I never talk about sport! I'm a nerd, remember."

"That isn't the point."

"Then what is? Besides, jocks are usually self absorbed, why would I want to date one?"

"That is exactly it, most jocks are so self absorbed that you won't need to talk much at all because he will be. You are to shy to talk to them normally so one that talks is a good aim to start with."

"Oh."

We spent the rest of the evening discussing what I would do for the rest of the week. Most importantly, she told me what to wear, who to talk to and what to talk about. By the end of it, I was ready both for the upcoming school week and a good night's sleep.