Be More Chill OneShots

1. The Squip Crusade Part One

     The lights in the basement left the room in a yellow orange tint. The scent of nachos and Smartfood popcorn filled the stuffy, cool air. All furniture in the basement was temporarily moved to make room for the board in the center. Sitting on one side of the board was a large three liter bottle of homemade Mountain Dew Red. Each person held their papers with all the instructions that they would need for this foreboding adventure...

Pathfinder the rpg game.

     Poor Jenna Rolland volunteered for Dungeon Master a week ago. This meant she was not only creating the basis of the game, but she was also in charge of being sure things stayed on track. As fun as this job sounds, it is extremely difficult when playing with a bunch of immature high schoolers.

     For example, Rich Gorganski was in this particular group. Now perhaps he wouldn't be crazy; it is unfair to judge so harshly. At the same time, it should be stated that he named his character Imma Biguy. Said character was a small, dwarven barbarian. Despite constant advice, Rich had pumped all his stats into charisma and strength. A charismatic, overly strong, dwarf barbarian. Jenna knew she was in for it.

     There were also overly simple characters. The perfect model of this was Jake's character James Dawson. He was a human fighter, given a sword and a simple set of stats. The boy was basically dragged into the game to begin with, so he didn't bother on making anything special. Better to just use an easy character, right?

     Then, there were the two less concerning characters, made by Brooke and Chloe.

     Chloe had decided to make herself a halfling rogue. She named the characters Alessandra Sylvia Slate. This name, sadly, was taken advantage of by the party to call her character A.S.S. Still, Chloe was the first to take the game seriously. Of course, this was just so she could see the others groan if she won. Sadly, she had no clue it was a team style game, so her overpowered rogue would win her no victory over anyone.

     Brooke had made a half elf ranger. Even though she was told multiple times that she herself was not going to be in the forest, Brooke firmly said that she wanted to be able to dance through the trees and maim goblins. The crew decided to leave well enough alone. She named her character Marila, thanks to a fantasy generator online.

     Then, there were the three who decided to use backstory.

     First, there was Christine. She had taken on a gnome bard, which excited her to no end. Jenna repeatedly tried to warn her that bards are harder to play but Christine would hear none of it. She named her gnome Idina Chenoweth, and had the story of a young gnome girl who defied controlling parents in order to follow her dream of being a bard.

     Then there was Jeremy. He needed no true help in making his character besides some opinion based parts like appearance and which weapon he should have first. The boy had made an elvish cleric, with a good stack of healing spells to assist the party that would most likely die instantly. The class also made his choices somewhat easier. Jeremy had played the game manh times before, but only aline with Michael. Understandably, the boy was nervous about doing a group version, so he made his cleric, Tol Vim. In addition, Jenna had conferred with him to add a but of a twist to the game. It was an ambitious decision, but something fun.

     Michael was the one that Jenna feared the most. His character was almost a non-player character the way he was playing it. He made a human paladin, named Wurham Aspus, that was sworn to protect Tol, a smart decision since it gave him in character excuses to save the cleric. He was let on about the twist and invited to join Jeremy if he so desired, but there was one fact Jeremy warned Jenna about. Michael was a rules lawyer. He knew most of the rules like the back of his hand, and often would use them in twisted ways for off the wall plans, making Jenna's work harder with extra die rolls and more. At the very least, he never questioned Jenna's decisions, but confirming the rules was a hassle.

     Needless to say, Jenna had her work cut out for her.

     About an hour in, the small crusade was barely anywhere further than where they started. Jenna had included some roleplaying parts in the beginning, leading to elongated discussions of how exactly to talk to a tavern keeper and multiple pleas to Rich to not attempt to seduce the bar keeper. (He got a crit, no one could argue). Currently, they were fighting some skeletons in the first room of the dungeon, and only one was left.

     "James Dawson, you're up!" Jenna called before fixing her eyes onto Jake.

     Jake was staring off into space, not recognizing the name until a soft nudge came to his side.

     "Bro that's you" Rich whispered to him.

     Jake swiftly sat straighter, glancing around the circle of friends as he looked for some sort of explaination. "What? What happened? I zoned out."

     The entire party let out a groan at the small delay.

     Rich gestured vaguely to the figures set out on the checkered board. "Bro just hit it with your sword!" He exclaimed, too impatient to wait long.

     Jake nodded and rolled a 20 sided die.

     Jenna glanced at her sheet from behind the screen given only to Dungeon Masters like herself. "That's a hit."

     Jake threw his arms in the air. "I win!" He exclaimed excitedly.

     "Jake, for the last time, you don't win in-" Jenna began but was swiftly interrupted.

     "No Way! If anyone is winning it's me!" Chloe argued. It was playful of course, but there was an air of truth in her statement.

     Jenna blinked, starring at them. "Guys I just said, no one wins in-"

      Rich snorted loudly. "I think I already scored more than everyone in this room." He declared pridefully. This earned a laugh from Jake and a mix of annoyed reactions from the rest of the table. Needless to say, Jenna was regretting letting Rich roll for that bar keeper.

     Christine cut in here, strumming a ukelele she had brought. The sweet girl had taken to playing random made up songs and chords as her bard.

"OHHHHH,
Imma seduced a bar keeper,
and in left her house
Woooooah
Imma sedu-"

     She was cut off as Jeremy gently took away her ukelele.

     Brooke looked at the others. "Wait but I shot that one guy in the back, doesn't that mean I win?" She asked, confused by the way this game was being scored.

     This time Michael butted in, feeling sorry for Jenna. "Dudes you don't win. We work together and we're gonna get that gemstone from the dungeon to stop the evil unknown blue God from taking over the world. We gotta work together."

     With this the party all stared and nodded with slight comprehension.

     Then, being Michael, the boy had to add in something. "Of course I think if it were a competition I would win cause I'm the one who pantsed the guards without getting caught." He said with a grin.

     Jeremy groaned and covered his face. "You're supposed to follow the rules Mr. I-Wanna-Be-A-Paladin..."

     Michael snorted. "I think Pidge would be proud"

     Jenna finally cut in, already exhausted by the hectic arguments. "James dealt 10 points of damage and the skeleton crumbled at his feet with a gargled growl." She called out, slightly louder than normal to capture attention.

     The rest all glanced back towards Jenna and began to play once more, leaving the arguement for later.

. . .

To be continued...