that autumn morning || bts ||

catorce

It was the day of the surgery and Seokjin was sweating in fear for the past hours. He didn't like going under a knife, especially if it's near his eyes.

Seokjin's bandage was removed to see if he saw anything at all but he just saw blackness. The fact that he couldn't see was so horrible. Seokjin thought of himself as blessed because he still had his left eye to see. Taehyung and him was fine and alive and that's all what Seokjin cared about.

Seokjin sighed the nurses came in with a stretcher to transport the male to the surgery room. The process was painful because Seokjin wasn't fully healed on his arms or legs. Seokjin couldn't use hands to support himself so he was uncomfortable.

The doctor noticed the uncomfortableness of the position so he ordered the nurses to help the male.

Once Seokjin was comfortable, he sighed in nervousness as the doctor put on his rubber, blue gloves on. Before any thing, the doctor sweetly smiled at Seokjin to reassure him that everything would be fine. He carefully put on an oxygen mask to help the patient breath. That was the last thing Seokjin saw before he feel into a deep sleep.

20 minuets has passed and the doctor has already finished his work of removing an eye.

Seokjin had a different type of bandage back on his right eye and he was taken back to his hospital room for recovery. It wasn't until three minutes later that Seokjin woke up again in pain.

Seokjin groaned as he grabbed his head in pain. He had a headache but it was a bad one. The doctor came back inside the room to give Seokjin pain killers. After awhile, Seokjin's pain was gone but he felt the pressure still.

Seokjin glanced at the time and it was 8:56 am.

Seokjin frowned. He looked at his hands. He flipped his hands and he saw his arms. All the bruises were still there but some were already fading. The three deep cuts were patched up with stitching and the other scratches were just cleaned and placed under bandages. The bandages were already taken off but Seokjin could still remember

Memories came and went. It was so hard to get over it but it was just meant to be. Losing the people you love never has a cure but to deal with it and face the fact that it's over.

Seokjin couldn't cry. He just repeated words over and over again in his head.

"Jin hyung, you can cry," Namjoon rubbed Seokjin's back as he was heading back from the hospital.

"It's not fair that the others can cry but you can't," Namjoon told Seokjin with sadness in his voice.

The two were heading back home from the hospital where Hoseok was. Seokjin tried so hard to not cry when Hoseok was crying. Namjoon was shedded his own tear.

Seokjin told himself that him being the oldest, he needed to be the strongest. He couldn't let the members pity him and not care for him because that is what he didn't want.

"It's fine, Joonie," Seokjin smiled at the younger. Namjoon only frowned more.

Namjoon took his hand off his back and he started to walk in a better position.

"Is it because you don't want to make us look down on you like the world is already?" Namjoon closed his eyes. He didn't want to see Seokjin's eyes starring at him.

"W-what do you mean?" Seokjin stuttered and Namjoon laughed a little.

"I mean, crying is the reason your parents left you in the alley, where we were," Namjoon continued, "they wanted us to shut you up and bring you to them again once you learned to shut your mouth."

"Me and Jungkook, the only ones at that time, decided not to bring you back to those idiotic parents that couldn't control their own child. We ran away with you to a different place. They didn't even try to find you. It's such a bummer," Namjoon put his hands inside of his pockets.

"Once we got to our destination, you promised us to not cry ever again even though we never said anything regarding your crying," Namjoon sighed, "it's sad because you don't know that happened."

"You hit your head pretty hard back then so when you woke up, you didn't remember a lot of things."

"I-I wasn't h-here since birth?" Seokjin had his eyes watery.

"Nope, in fact, you were only eighteen at the time and you acted like a total child. Maybe that hit on the head got rid of a mental disease?" Namjoon rubbed his chin trying to remember the times back then.

"B-but Jeongguk would be twelve? W-why would you have an u-underage kid?"

"I was underage as well but I actually picked him up when I saw that he was abandoned in a baby crib in the rain. He was just a year old so I decided to become a parent," Namjoon smiled widely as he remembered baby Jungkook.

"W-why were you o-out in the streets?"

"I dropped out of high school because my parents were driving me insane. They never let me study or have a clean mind in class. So I just dropped out and they kicked me out of the house with no money. I stoled from stores and got caught multiple times. I always feel bad because I always think that I brought towards you and Jungkook. And the others. Because they were hanging out with a thieve," Namjoon frowned.

"Can I ask how you got Hoseokie?"

Namjoon smiled and chuckled, "ah, I saw a happy child running around in the park one day and he once tried to speak to a boy his age to be his friend but the boy just stuck his tongue out and crossed his arms and left the boy on the verge of tears," Namjoon stopped for awhile, trying to remember what happened next.

"Oh, I then went to the lady in charge of the kids and she turned out to be the care taker that takes orphanage kids out to play in a hot day. So I asked what the cheerful boy's name was, I was an adult at this point, and she said Hoseok."

"The next day, I went to adopt the boy. I was lucky because the boy was about to turn eighteen in a couple of months. He hugged me tightly and he smiled widely at me when we went home. His smile still remained when we got inside the small house. Once he saw Jeongguk, he hugged him and said thank you over and over again. You were gone and once you came back, I just told you I found him."

"W-what about Jimin?"

"Ah, that boy," Namjoon started, "he was a fighter." Seokjin looked at Namjoon as if wished if he could tell the story already.

"Me and Hoseok were just walking around the neighborhood, talking about our pasts. It was getting meaningful until Hoseok told me there was a fighting that was happening." Namjoon continued, "it turns out that people were fighting this one boy to get free money off him. That boy tried fighting back but he wasn't too strong."

"The crowd was cheering not for the boy but for the man that was fighting him. That probably was a degrading move that the boy was punched to the floor and lost. His money was taken and he was left to bleed. Hoseok and I went to his side but he denied our help."

"We tried telling him that he should join us but he refused. He wanted to invite him because we actually really cared for him but he wasn't willing to accept our offer. We eventually said something that made the boy come with us but I'm not sure what it was. Maybe we said that we had a twelve year old boy at home that he can play fight instead? Not sure," Namjoon's face was told that he was thinking as to what he said to get the boy to accept.

"All you really know about them is that I 'found' them."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you were in a bad mood."

"Jin hyung, please don't hold in the cry. And if the others aren't there, don't cry because their souls will be there to care for you. You will be loved even if we aren't there with you."