santa cruz sand - a cake fanfiction

seven • [lonely]

  Luke left earlyish from Michael's house the next day. In fact, they all left no later than 11 o clock. It had something to do with Michael's dad coming home from a business trip of some kind.

  He was back at home, yet again in his bed because that is what he did when he was home. It had only been a few hours since he left Michael's house and it was only him and his mum at the house.

  On his bed he laid with a hand behind his head and the other holding his phone and scrolling through Instagram. No one had really posted anything new lately but he was going through it anyway.

  He instantly regretted going back through all the old posts when the one from last night came up. Calum's post.

  Blue eyes squeezed shut and he dropped his phone on his stomach, letting out a grunting noise. Contrary to popular belief, feeling your heart breaking in your chest isn't fun.

  Looking all the way up, he tried to let his eyelids suck his tears back in but that isn't really how it works. He brought a hand up to wipe them away quickly and then shake his head and take a deep breath.

  He really shouldn't let it affect him this much but he felt like something was pulling him to Calum. Everything with him felt right.

  Because he felt like being a petty bitch, he posted a picture on his Instagram story, covering up the camera so it would be a black image.

  He wrote out a caption for it, "lmao when ur crush doesn't like you back :")" and posted it on his story. Then he clicked his phone off and put down on the bed next to him.

  Luke brought his knees up to his chest and stared at the door directly in front of his bed. Calum was such an important part in Luke's life and he felt like Calum wouldn't even care if they weren't friends sometimes.

  It's not like they really talked outside of school before, this summer is the only time they've hung out. Sure they've had conversations over Snapchat but that was about school or homework or whatever.

  Calum always asked him for homework answers. And of course Luke would always give them to him. First of all because he's a good friend and second because, and this is a popular theme in his life, he'd do anything for Calum.

  And it sounds dumb because when you think of love or teenagers being in love it sounds stupid. Like teenagers don't really know how to love...or do they?

  It's a fact that Luke falls too fast. Gets excited when a boy in the coffee shop gives him attention or when he gets checked out by someone cute in public. But Calum...it's like Calum was the air that filled his lungs.

  He remembers so distinctly sitting next to him freshman year English class. How their arms would brush together sometimes and he'd get a shiver down his spine that he thought was caused by the room always being drafty.

  And then when they moved seats and he was sad that he wouldn't be able to sit next to him anymore. Wouldn't get to discuss things with him like the poem they just read and how it relates to them or what kind of literary devices were in it. He was scared he wouldn't be able to hear Calum's little jokes under his breath and chuckle lightly at them.

  But, Mr. Johnson pulled through. Well, sort of. He made the "mistake" of seating then together again. Calum had raised his hand to tell him, but Mr. Johnson just said to deal with it and that the year was almost over anyway.

  They became closer during world history, though, a class where they also sat by each other. Luke would sit behind Michael's chair in that class to see if Ms. Russ would notice if he wasn't there while Calum would laugh.

  Luke would say "here" during attendance but Mrs. Russ never noticed he wasn't there until lunch time when he stood up. He wasn't sure why he did it, but when he saw the big smile on Calum's face he remembered why.

  They just...clicked. Luke was a sucker for soulmate stories and knowing that someone out there is meant for you. He really and truly though that Calum was it for him, until he felt his phone vibrate next to him.

  He watched it light up and leant down to read it. Calum had replied to his story on Instagram.

  Luke felt his stomach drop and the cold creep up his spine. His breathing speed up a little and his heart was bound to beat out of his chest. He really, really did not want to see what Calum had to say.

  But he had to look sooner or later. And he decided to do it sooner rather than later. He tapped on the notification and put in his passcode. His phone led him to the Instagram app and there is where he saw the dreaded question.

  @calumhood: this might be reaching...but am I your crush?

  Luke's heart stopped and he felt his stomach begin to churn. A chill ran through his spine and his heart rate picked up. Either he could lie and there be absolutely no chance of them happening, or he could tell the truth and maybe Calum secretly likes him back?

  @lukehemmo: yeah you are
  @lukehemmo: sorry

  It was a bit stupid to apologize but he didn't want to make Calum uncomfortable with his feelings. After all he didn't know how Calum felt (but he was 99% sure.)

  @calumhood: no it's okay! I promise this won't change our friendship or anything like that.

Friendship
friend ship
f r i e n d s h i p

  Luke knew that was all they had but it still didn't stop his heart from breaking. Seeing those words written out on his screen. Staring back at him, taunting him.

  He felt his eyes well up with tears as he typed a response.

  @lukehemmo: yeah

  Calum was quick to respond. He sent something back about a meme or a vine of some sorts. He was pretty sure it was the one of the little girl saying "I smell like beef" but he clicked his phone off.

  He let it rest on the edge of the bed and it ended up falling onto the floor and making a noise but he didn't care. Didn't care if it cracked or whatever. He left his phone there and he laid on the bed with his legs tucked into his chest.

  It couldn't be decided how long he laid there. The sun came up and the sun set a couple times. His stomach growled a couple times. His phone buzzed a few times. His dad came in once or twice.

  The only time he got up is one day when it was dark outside. He was pretty sure it was Sunday or something, he tends to lose track of time during the summer.

  There was a small knock on the door and, assuming it was his dad he said, "come in." His voice was hoarse because he hasn't talked to anyone in a couple days.

  "Hey baby." Luke froze on his bed. That voice. That goddamn, sugar-sweet, innocent sounding voice that made him want to rip his ears off.

  He slowly sat up and looked at his mother who was standing halfway in, halfway out of the threshold of the door. She had bags under her eyes and she was the frailest he had ever seen. He thinks hands were shaking and she looked old.

  "What?" He said in an annoyed tone, clearing his throat to make it deeper.

  "I just wanted to see how you were." She said, walking in slowly. He gave her a look that said 'I dare you to come closer' and she stopped.

  "I'm fine, thanks, you can get out." He said gritting his teeth. She was the last person he wanted to talk to.

  "Are you sure, baby? Let's talk." She said and again tried to move closer. He got angry and sat up even straighter, fisting his hands in the sheets.

  "Please leave, Liz." He seethed getting angrier as the seconds went by.

  She looked taken aback by his tone of voice but Luke didn't give two shits. She nodded and inched toward the door slowly, closing it softly.

  He fell backwards and began wailing loudly, not caring who heard.

  When did he let himself get so broken?